Just Breath
Just breath
Don't think about being judged, mad, angry or sad
The feeling of words and fear stuck in your throat
About to choke
Don't think about it
The pit in your stomach
Twisting and knotting
Sensitive and rotting
I can barely breath
Hide my face in my sleeve
Turning red, brain ten miles ahead
I can't keep up, I can't catch up
The room is spinning but no one sees
When did it become so hard to breath
It's in my head
But it feels like it's in the room with me
Don't think about it
It just brings greater pain
I can't help but think I'm going insane
How can I not think about it?
It's like a video buffering
Stuck on one scene
My mental telephone begins to ring
It's my worst inner thoughts calling
I try to decline but the system faults and accepts anyways
It gives me more reasons to remain afraid
Don't think about it
Keeps my fear in my head
I'm alone in this room
But it's crowded with people
How can you tell me to just breath and not think about it
When you don't know what it's like
I've lived it
Yes you've been scared
But did you feel completely alone
Were your emotions all thrown
Did you believe you were going to die
And did you have to think about it
Because I think about it
My mind won't let me do anything else
I wish I could just not think about it
Could I then be cured
Would people then stop thinking I'm losing my mind
I am not crazy
I simply have anxiety
Everyone does
But not to the same extremities
I know that some have it worse than me
People who also find it hard to breath
And I hope you're okay
And you eventually breath and won't think about it
But I'll give you your time
As I wish people would provide me mine
Don't think about it
When I was a sophomore
I wasn't given my time
I was put in theater class
The second I walked in it started
I felt my heart start to race
Picking up pace
My throat closing up and I could not just breathe
Don't think about it
I went to my councilor and sat in her room
Pleaded with her to not send me back to that class of doom
But class change request were past due
She sent me back and told me not to think about it
Tears streaming down my face as I walk slowly back
Knowing that it will aggravate my attack
Don't think about it
I did something that I don't normally do
I hid in the bathroom until the class was over
For an hour I sat in that bathroom alone
Only thing I could do was stare blankly at my phone
My anxiety put a blockade between me and education
I never told anyone about that situation
Copyright © Jay Price | Year Posted 2022
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