Just Breath

Just breath Don't think about being judged, mad, angry or sad The feeling of words and fear stuck in your throat About to choke Don't think about it The pit in your stomach Twisting and knotting Sensitive and rotting I can barely breath Hide my face in my sleeve Turning red, brain ten miles ahead I can't keep up, I can't catch up The room is spinning but no one sees When did it become so hard to breath It's in my head But it feels like it's in the room with me Don't think about it It just brings greater pain I can't help but think I'm going insane How can I not think about it? It's like a video buffering Stuck on one scene My mental telephone begins to ring It's my worst inner thoughts calling I try to decline but the system faults and accepts anyways It gives me more reasons to remain afraid Don't think about it Keeps my fear in my head I'm alone in this room But it's crowded with people How can you tell me to just breath and not think about it When you don't know what it's like I've lived it Yes you've been scared But did you feel completely alone Were your emotions all thrown Did you believe you were going to die And did you have to think about it Because I think about it My mind won't let me do anything else I wish I could just not think about it Could I then be cured Would people then stop thinking I'm losing my mind I am not crazy I simply have anxiety Everyone does But not to the same extremities I know that some have it worse than me People who also find it hard to breath And I hope you're okay And you eventually breath and won't think about it But I'll give you your time As I wish people would provide me mine Don't think about it When I was a sophomore I wasn't given my time I was put in theater class The second I walked in it started I felt my heart start to race Picking up pace My throat closing up and I could not just breathe Don't think about it I went to my councilor and sat in her room Pleaded with her to not send me back to that class of doom But class change request were past due She sent me back and told me not to think about it Tears streaming down my face as I walk slowly back Knowing that it will aggravate my attack Don't think about it I did something that I don't normally do I hid in the bathroom until the class was over For an hour I sat in that bathroom alone Only thing I could do was stare blankly at my phone My anxiety put a blockade between me and education I never told anyone about that situation