If Only You Knew
If only you knew you make me feel like a monster, a horrifying beast that must be carefully tip-toed around.
If only you knew you make me feel like a wild animal, one that attacks the vulnerable and crushes happiness.
Your looks of distaste for my very being find a haven in the small crevices of my mind, never leaving.
Your words laced with a bitter, invisible poison crawl through the holes my insecurities leave.
I fear that I slowly am beginning to believe your accusations, that I truly am the twisted, unhinged lunatic you proclaim me to be.
Belittling my protests of injustice, you control me. I still give everything to you: my love, my sense of worth, my time. But you never acknowledge me.
If I ever shared how you truly make me feel, would they even believe me?
So I don't.
I choose to whither away, the small child inside of me crying for help, for comfort.
It never comes.
Copyright © Syd Peppe | Year Posted 2020
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