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Dear Depression

It would be nice, you know if you gave me a reason for your visits
Sometimes you pop in so randomly, like an outbreak of a deadly disease 
I sometimes wonder where you picked up this boldness
This confidence to barge into someone’s mind without shame
Then remember, that it is I, master of hoarding that once let you in

I have kept your memory for so long, you need only twist before resurfacing 
I have kept tabs on your whys and hows that I know you, a familiar face
I may forget your why’s because truly, you have no reason why
But your hows linger in my mind like muscle memory

I see you creep in with dirty clothes, 
Let the room lay in eggshells of a mess
Let the late nights of long prayers turn into short nights of “God, please hear the groans of my heart” 

I see the way you walk, stealthy, like a thief in the night
The way you smooth talk the suppressed anger and pain 
You whisper sweet nothings in my ears
“How worthless could you possibly be?” and my most favorite “you should’ve died on that first try”

But still, it would be nice, you know, if you gave me a heads up
Of the next time you want to come by, maybe then I’ll be more prepared 
I’ll do laundry beforehand 
Maybe cook a meal or 5 for days where I can’t stand 
Maybe, hear your words and take them with a grain of salt 
But who am I kidding?
I will always listen to you and you will never announce your arrival

Copyright © Oletu Maano Shikomba | Year Posted 2025

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