Dear Depression

It would be nice, you know if you gave me a reason for your visits Sometimes you pop in so randomly, like an outbreak of a deadly disease I sometimes wonder where you picked up this boldness This confidence to barge into someone’s mind without shame Then remember, that it is I, master of hoarding that once let you in I have kept your memory for so long, you need only twist before resurfacing I have kept tabs on your whys and hows that I know you, a familiar face I may forget your why’s because truly, you have no reason why But your hows linger in my mind like muscle memory I see you creep in with dirty clothes, Let the room lay in eggshells of a mess Let the late nights of long prayers turn into short nights of “God, please hear the groans of my heart” I see the way you walk, stealthy, like a thief in the night The way you smooth talk the suppressed anger and pain You whisper sweet nothings in my ears “How worthless could you possibly be?” and my most favorite “you should’ve died on that first try” But still, it would be nice, you know, if you gave me a heads up Of the next time you want to come by, maybe then I’ll be more prepared I’ll do laundry beforehand Maybe cook a meal or 5 for days where I can’t stand Maybe, hear your words and take them with a grain of salt But who am I kidding? I will always listen to you and you will never announce your arrival