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One Day

My feelings are hard to handle, can’t keep them tucked inside
Trying to move forward and swallowing all my pride 
I want to yell and scream, I need to let it out
People always judging, but really know nothing about 
I always keep my guard up, I put on a pretend show,
Can’t let them see the real me, I don’t let people know
I walk around with a smile, I keep my head held high,
But when I’m all alone, I really want to cry
I hate the person I’ve become, it’s driving me insane,
I suffer with depression, I just have so much pain
I’ve tried to end my life, I must not have done it right,
All I saw was darkness, I never saw the light
I have a lot of hatred, I keep it tucked within
I resent myself as a person, everyday I live in sin
I always mess things up, I don’t know what to say,
I just want to reach a point where I can finally be okay
I never ask for help, I always assume the worst,
I always feel so empty, I think I’m truly cursed
I’m scared to show my feelings, I’m afraid of being hurt,
From all the years of torture, with my name dragged through the dirt 
I try to act all goofy, always acting like a clown,
I’m scared to be myself and feel like I’m a big let down 
One day I’ll put this passed me, I’ll finally be set free,
So I can finally be happy and people can see the real me

Copyright © Alyssa Peters | Year Posted 2021

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