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FOR THE MEEK AND LOWLY

Impossible to predict each and every attack on me both mental and physical
You can’t fathom the relentless ruthlessness and brutality.

Six decades of agonizing, painful, shocking, terrifying, and torturous cruelty from so many people I have crossed paths with.  

My life consisting only of anguish, hurt, shock, and torment.  So many ordeals of hatred, jealously, bitterness from each and everyone one of them.  

After experiencing extreme trauma I am left with constant difficulty to stop myself from thinking about the trauma, avoiding places or people that remind me of it.  Sometimes feelings of such pain it flashes back and forth in my head can’t stop these horrific images and voices of the cruelty of persons who only sought to destroy me. 

Clearly, they hated themselves so they sought to degrade a soft, weak gentle person as myself.  

Yes, the ruthless have defeated me but the day will come that they will suffer repercussions for what they have done to one of God’s Meek Ones.  At that time, I will be safely at God’s side.

They harassed hurt mistreat and plague with their disgustingly words and actions.

I reflect on how one can hold their heads high after six decades relentless punishments.  How am I even alive?

My life began with child abuse as young as five years old enduring not only physical beatings but relentless verbal degradation, so young and so completely damaged. Teenage years continued verbal assaults and threats from my father.  In my twenties had abusive boyfriends and ex-husband physical beatings along with verbal torture pushing me further down.

Six decades later, barely holding my thin unhealthy body up, with no fight left in me. Today, I’m waiting and feeling that any day could be the end.  Not sure why God keeps me.  Most importantly I will continue to try to hold my head up in case my son needs me.  

Pray for me as I will pray for all of God’s Meek Ones.The evil ones beat the life and soul out of me because they couldn’t stand my graciousness and innocence.  But really, I believe it was their feelings of inadequacies, and their cruelness in heart and mind.  They did destroy my joy but never could take away my trust in the Lord that he would raise me up from their torturous attacks.  

My belief is that I will one day be in Heaven looking down at their futile and wasted efforts of trying to destroy God’s precious and meek ones.  God will not look kindly on what sins they have committed against His gentle ones.

If my son didn’t need me, I would pray for mercy for God to raise me up to heavens so this terrible pain could be over.

Copyright © Diane Perna | Year Posted 2026

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