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Best Poems Written by Diane Perna

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12
Details | Diane Perna Poem

IN SHAME


IN SHAME

When I was a little girl father brutally beat me down with such severity, and humiliation, causing me to hang my head down low in unimaginable shame.

When you saw me in public, I was so intensely misunderstood defeated and defaced; but you only looked at my shameful head down, never bothering to try empathy.



When you didn’t ask what was wrong, I felt absolute aloneness in that I could not recount the horrific details of my life without feelings of devastating loss and unworthiness; it was safer to keep my head down.

Still, today, I consider myself a mere passing shadow, meaningless to this earth, so I remain head down with the deepest shame yet, as I breathe in poison that may cause my demise.

After all the battles I fought and survived, I fear this one is my last with head down praying for God’s mercy, forgiveness and His rescue so that I will not perish in this ill-fated manner.

I implore God not to see me with grave disappointment but to graciously pardon me, and though I still cannot raise my head without shame, nonetheless, He will raise me up to the Heavens.

Finally, I remain tragically sorry for my failure to break free of this tormenting mental anguish, however, I beseech GOD and All of you to see my courage and not my failings but instead be proud of me that I fought this long, lastly I plead that you always Remember My Lonely Wounded, but Loving Heart…

	I, remain, Sincerely Yours, Diane Perna





 

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2019



Details | Diane Perna Poem

STOOD BY ME

To my dear son Daniel:
STOOD BY ME

My little boy stood in front of me 
shouting, “You’ll have to go through 
me first when he saw I was in danger.

My boy stood by me when the 
Law firm jobs crushed me into
Debilitation.

My boy stood by me when
life took us in and out of places
of extreme hardship.

My boy stood by me many 
times in sickness and injury.

My boy stood by me, always 
assuring: “Things will get better, 
Mom!”

My boy stood strong by me
when our beloved dogs, Rocky and 
Brownie went to the Rainbow Bridge.

My boy stood by me when the 
deaths of my mother and brother
shut me down to nothing.

My boy big and small, always knew 
when I wanted to give up, letting me 
know he still needed me.

My boy says, “Never give up, 
Mom, there is more for you
to do in this life!”

My boy is my hero, my savior,
an inspiration that I cannot 
live without.

My last wish is for my boy to stand by me 
a little longer, in case God calls me home 
while we still need each other.

Love Mom


Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2019

Details | Diane Perna Poem

TRAPPED

I run through life wounded with a steel jawed trap
ensnared onto my foot restricting my life’s essence.
Day in and day out I’m never able to shake it off,
 in relentless movements as fast as I could go 
so no new pain touches me.
 
I fight for sustenance; I fight to inhabit this life
damaged and wearied, from taking life’s persecutions. 
This invisible torment of my afflictions you can’t
Identify with.

I hold close that God is always watching and will pull me from
the of muddied roads that I run.  He hears my tormented cries; 
He feels my tortured spirit; He sees I can’t stop this path I’m on.

You say I’m not getting free but the running is
critical to me, as long as I can run, I’ll move, 
don’t ask why, don’t question it, don’t try. 
It’s not something you’ll ever comprehend.

Don’t question my animal instinct, let me be free
from what haunts me, from the nothingness.
You’re not saving me, you got nothing on me. 
I’m God’s creature and vow to be who I am.


You say the war is over but the hurt remains 
I keep a mask on through good times and bad.
They don’t think my life counts but God sees the 
merit of my existence.

Every day, it’s my struggle not yours, no one can imagine
the heartbreak, the suffering, the sorrow cutting my soul
as deeply as the rapt foot, it won’t come off it’s always
mine alone. 

I’m still fighting, the battle rages on in my mind.
Stop your judgment, leave me be, if you have not
been through this anguish run with me or without me.
I have accepted the aloneness in this fight.  

This trap keeps me from fending off life’s predators.
I’m a solitary being with a broken spirit. My desperate
 expression is evidence enough.  Though my instincts are
 powerful I’m not able to discern when I’m in danger.

I know GOD watches this unbearable burden I carry.
I pray when my time is up He gives me warning 
so in the final moments I can stand still as I’m being
raised up out of this hell into Heaven.

My Angels in Heaven see me; I’m okay to die this way; 
it’s not for you to say. I beg God to keep His guard on me. 
I’m done defending this.  I pray for you without any 
prayers in return.

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2018

Details | Diane Perna Poem

EMOTIONAL CUTTING


I pierce my heart with horrific thoughts 
of an unfathomable and unimaginable
child abuse that has never left me.

I sever my soul into pieces going over every 	
detail of the relentless insults and beatings
from my father and that violent boyfriend.
  
I gouge my mind with the most profound regret of all 
in that, I didn’t spend enough time with my mother 
and beloved brother, Jimmy before I lost them.

I curse myself for not making it known to my mother
And brother how much I loved and needed 
them which was more than I could ever say.

The heaviest burden engraved on my being
is for the loss of my protector and advisor  
in a dearest older brother which I will forever miss.

I am also aware and ashamed of the deeply painful
Look in my Son’s eyes for having to cope
with a mother like me. 

Lastly, I beg Oh, Dear God please rescue and release 
me from this deep sorrow and regret that torments me  
so the emotional cutting is finally brought to an end.






Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2018

Details | Diane Perna Poem

NO WORDS

I was beaten into silence as a young
child by my father's brutalizing 
rage and psychological torture.

When I was 5, a man exposed himself, to me
I ran fast terrified, no words spoken.

When I was 21 my boyfriend said, “I’m going to 
F-Up your pretty face so no one ever looks
at you again, with that, I had no words.

When the ER doc urged me to tell the Police
this boyfriend fractured my cheekbone and 
blackened my eyes, I had no words.

When riots broke out in high school, a large boy 
shoved me against the wall, his hands on my
throat, he yelled say something, I had no words.

When several powerful lawyers I worked
with made sexual comments, I quit instead
of finding my words.

When a careless driver struck me down
altering my life, as I lay in the street, 
a crowd around me, I had no words.

At a club, drank soda, got dizzy; a guy put me
in his car, as I vomited; he threw me behind a building; 
I never spoke of this attempted rape.

When my ex-husband committed
emotional & physical crimes against me, 
I left without a word.

Society has bullied me into silence otherwise 
risk the harsh judgment of their punishing 
remarks on my character.

Today, my words are not so eloquent,  
but they contain hard truths, as
God is always my Witness.

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2018



Details | Diane Perna Poem

TRAPPED

TRAPPED

I run through life wounded with a steel jawed trap
ensnared onto my foot restricting my life’s essence.
Day in and day out I’m never able to shake it off,
 in relentless movements as fast as I could go 
so no new pain touches me.
 
I fight for sustenance; I fight to inhabit this life
damaged and wearied, from taking life’s persecutions 
This invisible torment of my afflictions you can’t
Identify with.

I hold close that God is always watching and will pull me from
The of muddied roads that I run.  He hears my tormented cries; 
He feels my tortured spirit; He sees I can’t stop this path I’m on.
You say I’m not getting free but the running is
critical to me, as long as I can run, I’ll move, 
don’t ask why, don’t question it, don’t try. 
It’s not something you’ll ever comprehend.

Don’t question my animal instinct, let me be free
from what haunts me, from the nothingness.
You’re not saving me, you got nothing on me. 
I’m God’s creature and vow to be who I am.

You say the war is over but the hurt remains 
I keep a mask on through good times and bad
They don’t think my life counts but God sees the 
merit of my existence.

Every day, it’s my struggle not yours, no one can imagine
the heartbreak, the suffering, the sorrow cutting my soul
as deeply as the rapt foot, it won’t come off it’s always
mine alone. 

I’m still fighting, the battle rages on in my mind.
Stop your judgment, leave me be, if you have not
Been through this anguish run with me or without me.
I have accepted the aloneness in this fight.  


This trap keeps me from fending off life’s predators.
I’m a solitary being with a broken spirit. My desperate
 expression is evidence enough.  Though my instincts are
 powerful I’m not able to discern when I’m in danger.

I know GOD watches this unbearable burden I carry.
I pray when my time is up He gives me warning 
So in the final moments I can stand still as I’m being
raised up out of this hell into Heaven.

My Angels in Heaven see me; I’m okay to die this way; 
it’s not for you to say. I beg God to keep His guard on me. 
I’m done defending this.  I pray for you without any 
prayers in return.

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2018

Details | Diane Perna Poem

YOU DON'T KNOW ME

YOU DON’T KNOW ME


When you assumed what type of person 
I was yours was an uninformed conclusion.

When you looked at me as a child you saw poverty 
and frailty yet you turned the other cheek.

When you saw me as a teenager in profound 
sadness you didn’t try to assist me.

When you look at me as an adult it is with 
your deepest prejudice yet.

What I see today is a life full of lies forced 
upon me because you don’t know me!
 
 

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2019

Details | Diane Perna Poem

CHILDREN WITH BROKEN SPIRITS

CHILDREN WITH BROKEN SPIRITS


We are the children with broken spirits.

The pages of our lives have tears on it.

We are the children whose lives were isolated, violated 
and shame cast upon it.

We are the children who wear our pain loudly but they 
were more than cowardly.

We are the children who seemed different so they were told
to fear us.

We will no longer be children with broken spirits
but children who are lifted by the Holy Spirit.


Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2019

Details | Diane Perna Poem

BREAKING MY SILENCE

I’m that little girl on the street
too broken to speak!

As Dad furiously berated me, she maliciously 
smiled with enjoyment while kicking me in the
stomach laughing as I choked and collapsed.

She whispered to Dad which ignited
his temper into a rage wherein he
furiously diminished and finished me.

Mom remained silent, detached.
Older brother my only savior left home 
before the most severe torture began.

Bruises on my legs from Dad’s punches healed.
Though my spirit was crushed leaving me in 
utter defeat and damaged in character.

Every day of my life as a little child I
struggled to survive the brutality of the 
insults and violence from these two.

I failed in life unable to release the pain.
They say forget it, move on, I say you didn’t
endure these ruthless punishments. 

Certainly God knows my Pain! 
Because I remain that little girl 
on the street too broken to speak!

Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2018

Details | Diane Perna Poem

WHO WOULD LISTEN

Who Would Listen

No one would listen when I said,
“Why does Daddy hate me?”

No one would listen when I said,
“That bad man tried to touch me

No one would listen when I said,
“I was deeply saddened and needed help!”

My broken demeanor spoke volumes 
but no one cared enough to listen.

God wouldn’t listen when my broken voice 
Spoke loudly pleading to take away my brother’s 
Cancer as he suffered so terribly.

God wouldn’t listen to my broken voice
Shrouded with pain, when I asked for strength
As I struggled with the heartache of losing my
Beloved brother.

The loss of my brother’s life left me 
Shuddering alone in silence.

Who will listen, here, no one but  
When I am face to face with God  
I pray He will forgive my failings. 
 
My greatest hope is to rejoin my Brother 
in Heaven with all wounds healed, 
Joy in our hearts and restored as God’s 
Children who we always were but  
wouldn’t listen.


Copyright © DIANE PERNA | Year Posted 2019

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