IN SILENCE

Not sure when it started at 6 staying out of a brutally violent household taking to the unforgiving streets. The streets became my teacher and family albeit dangerous life lessons learned from a merciless source. Spiritual and corporal sorrow from father’s beatings, his cruel degradation too much to bear, as everyone stood by watching me bleed. At 13, befriending teens from troubled homes, drugs numbing the pain, leading to ingestion to dangerous narcotics, a perilous escape, always got away. Running the streets with pretty young broken girls; Waving down guy’s cars, thrill seeking, I guess, our risky behaviors always abetting trouble. Working excessive overtime as legal secretary on subways late nights, sexually assaulted, threats shouted by strangers, incessant danger lingers. Hanging out in nightclubs, as a melancholic outcast dating depraved men with no regard for human life, defeated, unable to break free, bound by fear. Running like a wounded animal, steel trap rapt around me as I bleed out, while others transgress moral law by feverishly striking me down; an already wounded soul. Years of starving myself, must stay pretty to Keep up façade for the ruthlessly judgmental. Never intentionally, but perhaps subconsciously continuing in this path of inevitable destruction. Today, realizing my son needs me more than ever, as he suffers anguish from life’s severity against the meek, imploring God save me so I can be his ardent advocate. I plead to GOD for protection of my soft-hearted son, when I leave this tortured life that devastated my spirit. I pray for mercy In Silence!