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Jaycee Graffius Poem
It grows
beneath the surface
It grows
Behind the curtain
It grows
And when it is seen
It’s too late
It’s there to stay
It is like a gas
Hovering
Following
Enveloping those
In its Smokey tendrils
Entrapping
Clinging like brambles
To clothes
It coils itself
Around
Tighter and tighter
It sits
By the ear
And hisses
Cruel music
To those unaware
Invisible It follows
Infecting the world
With its murky gloom
Making the future black
The world stops turning
Reverts to standing still
And it clings still
Holding in an unloving embrace
It’s like an impenetrable bubble
Of pain
Hatred reverberating back inside
While kindness sits beyond its walls
Kindness does not wait
It sits for only a while
Then leaves
Leaves you with it
Clawing for freedom
Does not work
For it infects deep
It becomes you
Escape can only come
From the outside
But the world is blind to it
So we sit
Afraid to make a sound
And it grows bigger
‘Tell there is no telling
The difference between you
And it
Until suddenly
It Fades
Gone for good?
Not likely
It always returns
It’s just away
Visiting family
Or taking a break
But it’s enough
Long enough
Long enough to speak
Long enough for the world to hear you
Long enough to be ready
When it comes back
Maybe you won’t be unarmed
Maybe you won’t be alone
But only if you speak
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
quiet joy
The silent pleasure
Freeing peace
You saved me
From the world
You saved me
When I was alone you were there
When I was lost you were my map
When I was afraid I looked to you
Your stories gave me hope
Your rough spine
Stitching standing out along the line
Hardcovers which edges have been rubbed smooth with use
Cardboard doors to a fleeting universe
Paper thin paper
Crisp a first
Then over time they fold
Become the billowing sheets on which we rest our mind
Glistening words
Inked with care
Reach out to pull you in
To keep you trapped within its grasp
Oh books
How can I ever repay you?
What payment can be given to that
Which shapes our lives?
How many things
Do I love because of you?
How much of me
Was born from your pages?
You were my sanctuary
My palace in the sky
My land of which I alone could explore
Now I wish I could continue your gift
But can I?
Can your gift become mine?
Can I become the one
To share the worlds within our world?
You shaped the world I walk upon
There could be no greater pleasure
To become
The paver of worlds
For every time I forget myself
I find myself
In you
And that is a gift the gods could not provide
But maybe I could provide it
Maybe the next time the world falls
I would be the one
To write my way out
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
Life
Life is often
Like a shattered vase
On the tile floor
Scattered fragments
With jagged edges
Clinging to the floor
In a puddle of water
All it takes is one nudge
One careless bump
One poor choice
Sends it spiraling down
Scrambling to fix it
Fingers brushing glass
Pain erupting along your hand
Glowing red-hot pain
You wish you could fix it
Hold it together
Cover it in tape
You wish
With sore hands, you walk
To the sink
Running hands under the tap
Pain smarting in your palms
Finally, with bandaged hands
And a sore heart
You sweep up the broken fragments
Into a little pan
Slowly
you paste
The little shards back into place
Filling the cracks
It doesn’t happen overnight
But after a while
You no longer remember that it was broken
It looks almost the same
The cracks do show
But the vase holds
Standing proudly in the window
Holding firm to the sill
And the marks on your hands
They fade
And you almost forget the pain
And the vase remains
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
Cast me down where the devil won’t go
Send me farther than damnation
What would I have to fear?
I’ve been there before
Send me farther than damnation
Beyond the lapping flames
I’ve been there before
This darker realm
Beyond The lapping flames
A world shredded with mystery
This darker realm
Beyond the devil’s lair
A world shredded with mystery
Filled with hallow, crushing, devastating nothingness
Beyond the devil’s lair
His fire does not reach this land
Filled with hallow, crushing, devastating nothingness
Satan himself would collapse in pain
His fire does not reach this land
My fire will
Satan Himself would collapse
I will stand and walk
My fire will
Light my way
I will stand and walk
I will find my way out with my fire
To light my way
I will escape as I have before
I will find my way out with my fire
I will stand as the devil gawks at my freedom
I will escape as I have before
The darkness doesn’t scare me anymore
I will stand as the devil gawks at my freedom
He will never be as fearless as I
The darkness doesn’t scare me anymore
So cast me down where the devil won’t go
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
I will bite your eyeballs
I will sand your bones
I will pluck out your veins
And peel back your nose
I will grind your eyelashes
I will boil your spleen
I will shave off your lips
And dance on your knees
I will curl your skin
I will iron your tongue
I will file your toes
And melt both your lungs
I will do all these things
As sure as can be
I will hammer your teeth
And bend back your feet
I will do all these things
To the next man I see
Who decides to make
a sex object of me
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2020
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
There was a time I believed I was free
But that belief is long gone.
It perished in a shooting of a public place
And the men in suits sent their thoughts a prayers
And then hid behind there bodyguards as they got back into their armor protected cars
It passed away in the streets of the richest country in the world
It’s ribs showing through its tattered tee shirt
As the grocery store poisoned more of the food it so callously threw away
It died in a run down house in the woods
A needle in its arm
Because getting help meant going to jail
Because the sickness was the crime
It expired when it jumped off a bridge
Too poor to do anything but die
While billionaires complained about having to pay taxes
It relinquished its life with its hands up
In the face of a man who swore to protect him
Who would never be blamed for his death
It fell to the ground with a rainbow painted on its cheek
Because in a world so filled with hate
Love is an act of treason
It ceased to exist in an alleyway
With the girl who couldn’t care for the life inside her
So she lost the life within her
And it breathed its last with a sign in its hand
Because changing the world
Can sometimes mean not being not being a part of it anymore
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2018
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
If I wanted, I could destroy them
But I’m a good girl
I could create and destroy and do as you condemn
But like I said I’m a good girl
I could stalk them, circling above their head like a vulture
Become their enemy high in the sky
I could destroy their world, their life, their culture
And they would never know why
I could drop this kindness like a red-hot poker down their back
they have never prepared for my darkness
Because, up till now, cruelty was something they could say I lack
they have become dependent on my kindness
So never forget to be grateful
That am a good girl, not hateful
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
Death is all around us
You may wish we’d spark a change
But we never ever will
Because we get nothing in exchange
Children are dying during class
We mandate that their there
we cannot keep them safe
But we can spare them thoughts and prayers
This isn’t the time to talk solutions
Wait tell the bodies are cold
Of course by then there’ll be ten new bodies
But this isn’t getting old
You see my belief trump’s your children's lives
Their death’s are the price we pay for freedom
The freedom to take your children's lives
Now Why won’t you stand for the anthem
Your children are our currency
We spent them all like fives
For our need to kill things
They will give their lives
Changing things is just too darn hard
So we’ll just sit up here
Protected by bodyguards and armored cars
And let you get murdered down there
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2018
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
I asked my husband what was wrong
He didn’t answer
He just wiped his eyes and drove away
He left his wedding ring on the table
I strode out into the misty morning
the sun fighting the sky for the stage
as a steady drizzle began
I felt no rain
I went to the coffee shop and waited in line
as I stared at the mirrors that refused to show my face
The server took the order of the person behind me
I stormed out in a huff, my hands never touching the door
I wandered in the wispy morning light
A chill climbed up my spine
Those that walked passed me huddled closer
As if they too could feel my chill
I walked past my daughter's school
And waved back to her on the playground
Her friends weren’t playing with her
She must be very lonely
I found myself at the church
The shining white beacon in the sky
Beyond in the graveyard, I saw two new graves
I wondered who had died
A little way away I saw my childhood home
And for a moment I thought I saw
My dearly departed parents
Rocking in their old rickety chairs
I glide past the newsstand
I see a headline
“Mother and daughter dead in highway 85 crash”
And my heart hurts for the family
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2017
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Jaycee Graffius Poem
There was a time
When I was alone
And silence filled my house
It covered the world beyond my house in a mist
I couldn’t tell what lay beyond my doorstep
When i was little I would run from the quiet
I would climb on the counter and sit in front of the looking glass
And talk to the looking glass girl
I would sit in front of her and beg her to tell me
Of the looking glass world
And She would tell me of
sun that spilled through every room
Of sugar coated kindness from strangers
And gardens of opal and ruby
Of nights spent by candlelight
In the arms of a chair
And rainy days spent in a cup of tea
And painted skies of cotton candy
I beg and she would tell me of
Leather bound friends
And warm cloudy days
Of drawing smiles on the foggy car windows
Of rose petal baths after a long day
And dark brown coffee after a long night
Of the pain from laughter
And tears from happiness
I used to wish i could put my hand through the mirror
To step into her world
To walk in her world for a day
And leaved the silence behind
But I remain contented to sit and listen to her tales
And hoped some day I would find my world was a reflection of the looking glass world
But years passed
And I passed to
I went out into the world of quiet and learned
What was hidden in the quiet
I returned changed and found the girl in the mirror had changed too
I sat on the counter and heard her new tale
Of gunshots and shattering glass
Of a mother's scream and a dogs whimper
Of the crack of falling branches and snap of a leg
Of the crack of lightning and the boom of thunder
Of a gasp of breath and a cry of despair
Of nights spent holding a weeping girl
And days spent cleaning up blood
I sat and heard
Of winters spent shivering in the cold
and summers spent dying in the heat
Of the moan of hunger and the howl of thirst
Of the sob of a lost child
And the bawl of the broken heart
Of cruel words spoken by strangers
And the savage words spoken by a lover
I cried at her feet for the world
And she cried with me
For the world was not as we thought
And in learning this
we lost my looking glass world
And found only a reflection
Copyright © Jaycee Graffius | Year Posted 2018
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