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Tholoana Mohale Poem
The smell of either soil or concrete after the rain is breathtaking
The sight of the sky and the birds on a warm day is amazing
The sound of the wind blowing dry leaves is astonishing
The sight of blossoming flowers is unmatched
But the smell of pollen everywhere is overwhelming
I was hoping it would be a beautiful day
One with some drops from the sky to say that he still wants us to survive the heat (and there were some)
Where he fills the dams just enough until he would need to again
One that would kiss us goodbye with a rainbow
But the wind invaded tempestuously
I was hoping it would be a wonderful day
One with brightness, colour and music
Where Mr Sun would grace us with his warmth and caress our heavy skins
One that would kiss us goodbye with dusk not so dark
But the clouds hid his face
I was looking forward to a fairly windy day
The kind that let's you see the beauty of the brown fallen leaves
One that reminds us that life can leave you puffy on some days
One that would kiss us goodbye with an embrace of calmness and quietness
But the sun rudely dominated the turbulence
I thought today would be like one of those washing powder adverts
Where butterflies and colourful, cheerful birds fly all over the place
Where the grass is green and a thousand flowers bloom
One that would kiss us goodbye with all types of allergies
But the wind blinded our eyes and robbed us of the sight that left some sneezing, others itchy and others swollen
Not one of them were perfect, but something about them was.
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
Fake smiles
Drifting from homes to streets to share your strength with the weak
Walking in shoes that aren't yours to claim you walked the extra mile
Only to remind yourself that you aren't just as meek
Sunset, darkness, lonliness
Look at how you leak yourself to sleep
No one to show you your kind of friendliness
Is it only now that you realise that happiness is less shallow than deep?
Yeah I see you
Pursuing the "best" of yourself without looking in the mirror
Perhaps because you know that all you really are is just a boo
Only, you keep convincing the world you're an important puzzle to complete the picture
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
African woman, I have heard so much about you
I have heard that you are caring, that you are loving , that your kindness is incomparable. I have heard that your beauty needs no special powders and creams hoba o pabala 'sea la batho!
Theha tsebe and listen to what I have to say ka wena
Ke bua ka wena a woman of integrity, what a wonderful creature you are
O mmasechaba, the mother of the nation, nosizwe!
Ka wena re bona masea a matle dibobothwana
Tau dimesana, thipa o e tshwara ka bohaleng.
Ha ke o tadima ke bona a mother of all professions. A teacher, a sole provide, a mother, the head and the backbone of the family, a creative
Who else could turn a house into a warm home?Ke wena fela mmasechaba!
African woman, ambition is your walking stick to your destination
You are a tree of good fruits, mang le mang desires ditholwana tsa hao
And when they throw you stones to harvest what they never sowed unto you, you give them your fruits ntle le dikgathatso
You use the same heap of stones that were meant to harm you to step to greater heights
You are smart, a dreamer. an intellect...
Your walk is so graceful. Your words say you know what gratitude and appreciation is
Fear is a strange man in your world because you are fierce
A spark that shines the brightest in the darkest days
O lesedi, naletsana, mmabotle
Courage is your inner man, even when you come across obstacles across your path, you get strength from reminding yourself that you never begin with the intent to quit, you are a fighter
You fight for your dreams, your victory, I mean you are not here to be defeated but to conquer
You are an African woman!
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2017
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
When you are bawled with all sorts of insults when the sun sets,
Yet you are the uncommonly precious daughter all mothers wish for in the community
When your only heart's desire is serenity
When you play by the rules but still get your rump whipped like the rest...
This is when it gets to you...
This is when you feel burdensome, thwarted and pumped up
You bleakly want to do anything to escape from the sadness
You want to break the silence but you are voiceless
You want the chain of the persistent pain ended but you are powerless
You feel crowded on your own because the voices will not leave you to live
They whisper to you the devil that you are no matter how good your deeds may seem to be
You live under the shadows of burdens spit by the tongue
The words spoken pile up to be a hillock you must climb to discover the truth on the other side of the only truth you have learned from a thorny heart
You yearn for the unspoken for with them you could find a reason to persevere for survival but,
The gradient does not get less steeper as you climb higher
Every step up higher is a unit less of faith that it will get better
Nights are of tears and teddies to the bearer
Days are of all misconceptions of a spirit that has vanished
Only if hurt could be banished...
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2017
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
I find myself wanting to believe that the times of bona fide innocence ended with our forefathers decades ago
My heart persists on convincing my mind to see that the dent on our generation is irreversible, but the heart does not convince the mind hard enough for it to decipher
The concept of staying true to oneself deforms everyday
Lie is the new truth- is what we do
The sense of respect is being demolished by our actions
Fake is the new real- it is how we are
We overlook our cultures but do not hesitate to accept foreign ones
Decoration of deception is what we do best
We live in the sphere of illusions- we illuminate ignorance and idleness
My peers devour some stages of their lives only because they are ravenous for matters that go odd with their ages
Some are in a race to the denouement of their lives, well, this may denote shorter life expectancies than expected but on whose shoulders can the blame be delegated?
The ideal of the democratic youth is doomed by a deluge of complex individuals who persist not to comply
If we are this impudent, what about the next generation?
If we are this intolerant, what about the next generation?
If we are this iniquitous, what about the next generation?
If we are this irresponsible, what about the poor future?
What about those offspring we reproduce at such a young age, won't they resemble us? Won't they reflect us?
If we are so conspicuous and infatuated won't they be worse?
If we are so inhumane, won't they just be intrinsic?
If we are so resistant to education, will they even comprehend the mere significance of it?
Being so irrational I then begin to wonder if there could be a possible way to prevent gene transfer to protect the next generation and make the world a better place.
My generation is ruined. We are destroyed, we are perishing.
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2017
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
My Final Echo
I am letting go, I am giving up on you, us, the future…
I hope you won’t feel like I’m depriving you the chance to voice out your opinions
I trust and have faith in the knowledge that you never considered me selfish
I pray Lord God to enable me to intercede and taste the pain and bitterness of the stones that I’m about to spit
Hurt, I am releasing you today
Void, I am letting go of you now
The yearn for your return and all, I’m giving up on everything, breaking the chain and looking back no more
I always meant it when I said I loved you, it never occurred to me that you’d lie…
I mean why would you?!
You were my lover and friend, all in one, but what did you see in me?
We were tight, not even the devil himself would come in between us
I had sworn in my heart that I would have done anything for you, anything
…but the realisation that you wouldn’t even bother with a half of 'anything' when the tables were turned, shatters my soul
A promise was like a neatly knitted piece of deception to you, and it sadly meant the exact opposite to me
Promises are not meant to be broken, they are not rules
But, regardless of how hurtful your lies had left me, I would still love you the same
No matter how wrongful your actions might have been against our values and principles, I would trust you still
Even when you were turning a blind eye on my tears for you I would not discontinue my loyalty to you
I was jealous when you spent more time with your other friends and not me because, you took the greatest of spots in my heart
I loved you with all I had
Believing that for better or worse we were going to stick together forever
Honey you were my Wakanda
I was in denial for the longest time, even when it was evident that you chose he whose pleasure is present in your tears,
Whose satisfaction is absent without your heartbreak,
Whose laughter gets louder when your voice trembles for help,
Whose confidence blooms when your fears are at peak
You chose him over me
I am giving up on us
I forgave you for emotionally neglecting me at first…did it again when I told you the worst thing I did best and you told someone else
You said that you thought we were close enough with her to know but that was up to me to decide
You invited her in our couple and that was the perfect spot for her to crush, tarnish and suck the good out of me and leave me emotionally drained
You know how that felt?
I was no more me because of you...it was not fun
I started feeling emotions no more
I then felt like a retarded teenager but even worse-you were not there for me
You thought the whole matter was funny...but I was hurting!
I had lost myself, you ignored that, you were blissful
Is that what a friend does?
Was that how it was supposed to be?
I’m only human...and it's in my immaculate nature to have expectations.
But...
Heaven knows what they fed you that I never had!
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
As I sit here and ponder the question of how humankind deserves you...
As I think of the luxury and comfort you deserve...
I return to my senses and rebuke myself- How dare I think I can comprehend what you deserve?!
See, you are a perfect reflection of God's image of human creation
You are a Goddess, my white tiger- a rare breed
You are refined and elegant, my living sweet fantasy
Your words soothe my doubtful soul
Your character quiets my blaring mind
Your deeds never cease to leave me in awe
You are such a contradiction of modernity
Yet so complex that the former times just cannot claim you
You are a definite wonder!
See, you are not of this world...no! You just can't be
You belong in a paradise somewhere- where people are not fans but followers of Christ
But you are gentle and modest enough to lead humbly because you know who rules over your path
An African, a Black, Christian, Powerful Queen you are!
Love
Daughter
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
I hear a few songs from my playlists that make me think of you
And I wonder if you have any that make you think of me
You don’t call anymore, even after I asked you to
And, I don’t call because you’re going to feel guilty for not calling
And then tell me that you still love me
But it won’t feel the same you know?
I thought that now that he left, you’d start to notice my absence and miss me
But I guess out of sight out of mind hey?
You always talked about him when he wasn’t there
Heck!… Even when he was home every monologue and dialogue was about him
The difference between him and I? I can never be him.
I can’t stress you out as much as he does to get your attention
I avoid it because all I want for you is to be happy
So I strive to make our relationship to be perfect, but I can never…
Alone without being compared to him, be perfect in your eyes
I have always felt like you criticised me for doing things my way
Even that has stopped since he left
You care so much about him
I wish I had that with you, but I don’t
Sometimes when I can’t draw strength from what I need to be for myself,
I think of you, and the inspiration that I get from getting you a comfortable life in your old age my dear…
It ignites a spark that goes on for days inside of me
Until I can’t not think about how much less you are willing to invest in me
Even after I have proven myself to you with every chance I get
I miss you dearly, mamita
I miss us before him
I miss that proud smile of yours that would last longer than the moment itself
I always disliked your subtle bragging about me but even those are gone hey!
And I don’t know whether I hate the fact that nothing can make me love you less
But I love loving you, because once, I was certain that you loved me, and would do anything for me, your mija.
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
Mommy...you are not there
In my darkest hour
When I miss you
When I need you
To be my candle flame
To talk to me
To hold me
Mommy...you are not answering
When I call for you
When I reach out for you
When I look for you
To give me hope again
To love me once more
To find myself in you one more time
Mommy...you only show up when you possess the finite assests of this world
Only when days are sunny for you
When you have it all figured out
When life smiles at you and you smile back
To share your happiness
To make your light known
To show us how to piece it together too
But mommy...
I want you near all the time
I don't want you to keep disappearing when it gets tough for all of us
I want us to conquer it together
Just like the olden times
Only then, you could never leave me
Nor choose anybody else above me
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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Tholoana Mohale Poem
I came out here on my own
To learn and discover my purpose
To grow and expand my horizons
But it's a lonely road
It is steep and looks long
It feels intense for my-tiny-self
I have no idea how to knit it together
Where to start and where I should end
Where not to touch and where to get my hands dirty
It's starting to feel like I am thrown into a den of lions
Where the survivor is not doubted from the beginning of the battle
Where I am crowned with defeat before my opponent even moves
But I pay my face a visit in the mirror
The only language it can speak is Tears
I wipe them away and keep it moisturised because we have to keep making appearances
We should show up everyday better than yesterday
We must keep it together until we're excused from the crowds again
Until the blinds let no more light through the windows
To be true to our fears again
To flow like the Tsitsikamma just until dawn breaks
And its yet another day...
Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020
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