My Final Echo

My Final Echo

I am letting go, I am giving up on you, us, the future…
I hope you won’t feel like I’m depriving you the chance to voice out your opinions 
I trust and have faith in the knowledge that you never considered me selfish 
I pray Lord God to enable me to intercede and taste the pain and bitterness of the stones that I’m about to spit 

Hurt, I am releasing you today
Void, I am letting go of you now
The yearn for your return and all, I’m giving up on everything, breaking the chain and looking back no more

I always meant it when I said I loved you, it never occurred to me that you’d lie…
I mean why would you?! 
You were my lover and friend, all in one, but what did you see in me?

We were tight, not even the devil himself would come in between us
I had sworn in my heart that I would have done anything for you, anything
…but the realisation that you wouldn’t even bother with a half of 'anything' when the tables were turned, shatters my soul 

A promise was like a neatly knitted piece of deception to you, and it sadly meant the exact opposite to me
Promises are not meant to be broken, they are not rules
But, regardless of how hurtful your lies had left me, I would still love you the same

No matter how wrongful your actions might have been against our values and principles, I would trust you still
Even when you were turning a blind eye on my tears for you I would not discontinue my loyalty to you

I was jealous when you spent more time with your other friends and not me because, you took the greatest of spots in my heart
I loved you with all I had
Believing that for better or worse we were going to stick together forever
Honey you were my Wakanda

I was in denial for the longest time, even when it was evident that you chose he whose pleasure is present in your tears, 
Whose satisfaction is absent without your heartbreak, 
Whose laughter gets louder when your voice trembles for help, 
Whose confidence blooms when your fears are at peak 
You chose him over me
I am giving up on us

I forgave you for emotionally neglecting me at first…did it again when I told you the worst thing I did best and you told someone else
You said that you thought we were close enough with her to know but that was up to me to decide
You invited her in our couple and that was the perfect spot for her to crush, tarnish and suck the good out of me and leave me emotionally drained

You know how that felt?
I was no more me because of you...it was not fun
I started feeling emotions no more
I then felt like a retarded teenager but even worse-you were not there for me

You thought the whole matter was funny...but I was hurting!
I had lost myself, you ignored that, you were blissful
Is that what a friend does? 
Was that how it was supposed to be? 
I’m only human...and it's in my immaculate nature to have expectations.

But...
Heaven knows what they fed you that I never had!

Copyright © Tholoana Mohale | Year Posted 2020

Please Login to post a comment