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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
Football, volleyball, baseball, softball,
Racquetball, handball, basketball, hardball. . . .
There're lots of sports in the world you play with a ball,
And you can't play any of them if you're an oddball.
If you want to be good at any such sport,
You've certainly got to give it your all.
No such sport is as easy as playing with a snowball.
Choose one of those sports and pay all your attention to it.
If you don't devote your energy to it,
You'll surely fall into a downfall.
Before your practice, you shouldn't take a highball
Or any other kind of alcohol.
If you do, you may get into a pitfall.
During a game, there're numerous dangers to forestall.
If you don't take enough care, you may rush into a sidewall.
Or you may even get your head crushed against a stonewall.
Be on guard not to catch cold during a snowfall.
If you make any such blunder, you'll end up being a goofball.
After your practice, take a good rest, which is a real cure-all.
Whenever you feel dry in your nose, use a spray of aerosol.
If your girlfriend is with you, ask her to put on a camisole.
If she's a beautiful girl from Nepal,
Have her use a brilliant orange parasol,
Whose design reminds you of a refreshing waterfall.
If you feel uncomfortable kissing her,
Try some toothpaste with xylitol,
Perhaps with a little bit of menthol.
That may remind you of your ex-lover
Who spoke beautiful Provençal.
When you think you've eaten too much,
Start watching your level of cholesterol.
If you don't, you may be no better than a neanderthal.
If you do, your life will get back to a pastorale.
Well, I think that by now I've told you all.
(June 28, 2015)
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
This is just a clumsy free verse, or rather, a pseudo-poem. Laugh at me if you like. I am what I am, whether you like me or not.
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Yes, I remember it quite distinctly.
It was 15 years ago that I realized how lonely I was.
Until that time I had never known I was that lonely.
In fact, I had never felt lonely or not lonely.
But at that time, just a few days after my divorce,
When all of a sudden I fell desperately, fatally in love with that devilish woman,
I knew for the very first time in my life
That I was actually eternally, absolutely lonely.
Every second that I was not with her,
I felt totally empty, craving her presence.
I kept weeping, sobbing, and crying
In my excruciating longing for a sight of her heavenly smiles.
Then, one year after I first met her,
Rumor reached me that she had got married to another man.
I wanted to hear her giggles again,
which had always thrilled me.
But she never wanted to see or talk to me any more.
Yes, it was when I met her for the first time
That I knew I was eternally, absolutely lonely.
Ever since that time, for the past 15 years,
I have always been absolutely lonely,
Feeling as though I were totally alone
Without any human, animal, or even vegetable companion
In this vast, pitch-dark, indifferent universe,
Without any hope of my desperate voice
Reaching anyone's ear.
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
You came down from the Orion to this damned earth.
Somewhere in space you lost your heavenly wings.
You have come far away from your place of birth.
In coming down, you have brought numerous things.
Among the presents you brought is your brilliance.
The brilliance in your eyes is totally unrivaled.
At your shining existence all beings sigh in resonance.
Your celestial mind is a mysterious world untraveled.
Deep in your eyes there is something wet.
That wetness is unique to your own being.
In no one else have I seen anything similar yet.
To me your gleaming eyes are always tear-jerking.
Dancing on the stage with your refined skin spotlighted,
Your alluring smile grabs my whole existence.
Even to the Antarctica I'd pursue you delighted.
Your magical glow stands out in all this silence.
For your love I could easily sacrifice my life.
Your adorable thin lips make me tremble.
Your ephemeral slender figure kills me as if with a knife.
Your divine eternity always makes me humble.
(June 30, 2015)
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
We hate one another.
We can't get together.
We know it's better to be friends,
But we just don't even bother.
Our turmoil is so intense.
It's at the end of our tether.
All the King's Horses
And all the King's Men
Couldn't get us together.
Oh, no, it's over. Why bother?
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
When poet Tennyson was very young,
He was a handsome tiny son,
Who loved playing tennis under the sun.
When in his teens,
Tennyson excelled at his studies
So much so that he won the admiration of
Adorable girls who numbered ten.
As an adult Tennyson the tiny son went on a journey
To a faraway city called Newcastle upon Tyne.
There he came across a man who covered himself with tin.
Tennyson decided to call him "Tin Man."
Tin Man and Tennyson became good friends
So close together at all times.
Then one day they met someone so pretty and tiny
Who looked and behaved exactly like Tinker Bell.
Tinker Bell, Tinker Bell, tinkle all the way,
Oh, what fun it is to ride in a one-donkey open sleigh!
"What a delightful, perfectly beautiful day we have today!"
Said Tinker Bell.
Oops! I don't think she could talk.
Who, then, made that statement, I wonder?
I wonder, I wonder, Alice in Wonderland.
Humpty Dumpty all the way,
Smiling nastily like that cat
Whose mouth was floating in the air,
Devoid of the rest of her body.
All the king's horses and all the king's men
Couldn't put Alice together again.
And she one day decided to climb that tree,
Which grew so tall as to reach the sky,
Out of those beans that that old, ugly woman
Had given her the previous day
In exchange for the cake Alice had given her.
So Alice climbed and climbed and
At last she landed on the nearest cloud.
There she saw a great mansion
Surrounded by vines.
She lost no time in stealing in through the huge iron door.
There she found this goose of gold
And Alice was tempted to steal it
And bring it back home.
And so she went down back home
With that goose of gold
And lived happily ever after.
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
Computer science is abbreviated as "comp sci."
Comp sci is so hard it gives you a sigh.
Computing is everywhere in the world of sci-fi.
Network is so prevalent these days you can't get by without a wi-fi.
When I said so to a Scotsman, all he said was "aye."
He's such a jolly, handsome, agreeable, but sometimes nervous guy.
He's a sincere, honest, and serious person, and never tells a lie.
One weakness he has is that when he's with a girl, he gets shy.
As a student he worked part-time working in a pigsty.
After getting used to the smelly pigs, he learned to work with them
under a clear, blue sky.
At the end of work each day, he cheerfully says to the pigs goodbye.
Once he came up with an idea of a prank, and he entered into the
pigsty on the sly.
The hay and everything else there was really dry.
Usually they ought to be slightly wet, and he wondered why.
Maybe it was because of something done by an international spy.
That, he thought, was something nobody can ever deny.
My Scots friend was so poor he had a hard time in getting by.
There was even a time he was so desperate that when I talked to him
he didn't even reply.
I was so shocked at his destitute state I could not help but cry.
At the sight of my response, he could not help but say, "Oh, my!"
My Scottish friend once lived very far and decided to live nigh.
Near his new place was a little shop that sold everything made of rye.
He bought a splendid piece of bread there on the Fourth of July.
There he also bought something he always wanted to give me: an apple pie.
He just had to give all that to me although there was a risk of oversupply.
He also thought the merchandise looked so delicious he thought it was a good buy.
When he came to my place with that small gifts, I was with a Thai.
And also, I was wearing what I usually don't wear: a beautiful tie.
It was so brilliant something came flying to my tie,
and I realized it was something I don't care for very much: a fly.
Right at that moment, somebody I never expected slowly came by.
The stranger looked wicked, with a crooked mouth, and with an evil eye.
My Scottish friend, my Thai friend, and I together got into a fight with
the wicked guy.
Then my final punch gave him a black eye.
The crooked man left immediately, without any intention again to drop by.
He uttered a word just before leaving, but I don't think he had anything to imply.
He was some Westerner doing some business with a gangster in Shanghai.
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
Sorry, I don't know what the heck you're talking about.
Sorry, I don't understand a word of whatever you may have been trying to say.
Sorry, I don't know that man, or woman, or children, or anybody else around here.
Sorry, I'm a stranger around here...
uh, no, not only in this neighborhood,
but everywhere on the earth.
You asking me since when?
Uh, let's see, for about ten, no, twenty years?
Uh, no, not that either....
Since forever, I guess.
I've always been feeling like a complete stranger on the earth ever since I was born, I guess.
Asking me why?
Because, uh, I don't know what I am.
I have absolutely no idea what humans are.
When I'm with people, even with my parents or siblings,
even when they seem to like me and even love me, I, uh, I don't feel at all the friendship or love that they claim to have for me.
Do I love them?
Uh, I don't think so.
Do I love my parents and siblings, you say?
Uh, not any more.
Yeah, I thought I loved my family and other people
when I was a kid or until I was a teenager or something.
But after that, I ceased to feel that way.
Ever since I was twenty or so,
I've never felt any love coming from others
or any love coming from inside my own heart.
I don't feel I'm real.
I don't feel I'm human.
I don't think I belong to people.
I don't feel I'm a citizen of the world.
I don't feel the people around me are humans.
But I do feel as if I'm in a huge zoo together with apes and pigs.
I feel as though I'd always been trying desperately to speak their pig and ape languages.
Their languages have always been horribly difficult to master.
Whenever I try to communicate with them,
they've always complained to me,
saying that I speak weird Japanese.
They've said they don't understand my language well.
They even get angry at me sometimes,
saying that I'm deliberately saying things
confusing to them, to make a fool of them.
I can't speak their languages well enough.
Nor can they understand my language well enough.
There's always been a huge, vast gulf
gaping wide between them and me,
which has always terrified me all my life.
I'm not human.
If I do belong to any place or any world,
I probably belong to the other end of the universe.
Definitely not here.
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
Look up into the Milky Way
Streaming down the sky to the bay
Connected by sea to Skara Brae.
Do those ruins contain some clay?
On that faraway land, are there any dogs stray?
If I go there, will a beautiful girl be coming,
Serving me coffee with a splendid tray
On a sunny, refreshing day?
Will the girl be pretty enough to give me an impression
That strikes me as if with a fresh water spray?
Then, will I be filled with such deep emotion
That makes me shout, "Yay"?
Will I be stunned, having nothing to say?
Or will I start dancing as in ballet?
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
Mint, peppermint, Cool Mint, badminton. . . .
But that's not what I meant.
You still don't know what I meant?
Then I'll give you a hint.
There's a famous guy named Clint.
Yes, his family name is Eastwood.
As an actor, he's sharp as a flint.
He always wears a shirt with a nice tint.
He hates to drive a car with a dint.
He once wrote a book that never got out of print.
He once daydreamed of being a quint.
He's diligent, he always works without a stint.
"Go ahead, make my day!"
says he, with his eyes shining with a glint.
So tidy is he, well-dressed is he,
without a single loose piece of lint.
Never did he do that, no he didn't.
So said he, with his trademark squint.
But he's not learned enough to be able to read a Septuagint.
Once he broke his leg, and they had to put it into a splint.
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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Oed Loves Me Not Poem
https://upload.wikimedia.org/wikipedia/commons/8/82/Francisco_de_Goya%2C_Saturno_devorando_a_su_hijo_%281819-1823%29.jpg
Follow the above link.
That's a picture by Goya
entitled "Saturn Devouring His Son."
Have you ever thought of yourselves
as someone like this Saturn?
No?
Are you sure you won't ever sacrifice
your boyfriend or girlfriend, lover, spouse, or lover?
Are you sure you won't?
Then give yourselves time.
Wait a decade, two decades, or three.
There may come a time when something happens,
obliging you to choose
between destroying your own sanity
and sacrificing the one you love — or claim to love.
You may have believed you're a loving person
who can't ever betray the one you love
— or the one you believe you love.
But look.
The love you claim to have and have cherished all your life
may be just a pipe dream.
It may be just a castle on sand, or a hologram.
The love you claim to have may be just an illusion.
It may be only a reflection of your own selfishness.
To survive in this cesspool of a world,
you just have to be healthily selfish.
True, you shouldn't be downright selfish.
If you are, people will hate you
and you'll end up leading a solitary, lonely life.
But that doesn't mean you're completely selfless.
Absolute selflessness is totally incompatible with this hellish world.
To survive here, you just have to maintain a reasonable degree of selfishness.
That's what I call "healthy selfishness."
So, people of the world, be healthily selfish.
If there comes a time when you have to choose
between maintaining your own life or sanity
and sacrificing the one you love (or claim to love),
you'll certainly choose to maintain your life or sanity before you know it.
That's the way you're programmed to do.
The genes in your body compel you to do so.
So don't worry.
You'll surely sacrifice your child or lover
whom you always thought you were ready to sacrifice your own life for.
Long live your healthy selfishness!
And may Heaven bless your self-love eternally!
Copyright © Oed Loves Me Not | Year Posted 2017
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