This Excruciatingly Unfathomable Life

Humans! Animals! Life! The universe! Never have I had any understanding of these beings since I was a teenager. Why on earth do we live? What for? Where are we headed? Does anyone know the answer? Do you say we live to fulfill happiness? If so, we would certainly be better off if we hadn't been born at all. You know you never asked to be born. You know that you, even the most optimist among the people, wouldn't want to be born in another life after you die. What are we? Are we apes? Are we really human? If so, are humans like apes? What do we think and feel? All we think of is sex, food, child-rearing, and everyday trivialities. You think you're superior because you live for love? Don't you realize your love is nothing but love for yourself, not for the ones you claim you love? So you're committed to a revolution? Don't you realize it's just a pipe dream? Don't you know your dream of a better world is just another reflection of your egoism? You just want the world to be the way you want it to be. That's what your revolutionary dreams are all about. And the world you want may not be good for others, not even for people you imagine your ideal world is good for. Love, friendship, and kindness to people are just another reflection of what you want for yourself. You believe you're a decent, loving, kind person but actually all you want is to paint the world in the color you want it to have. Are you saying Jesus and other prophets died for us common people? Don't you realize that even the Almighty God hasn't managed to overcome His own selfishness? He created us precisely because He had been positively bored with living all alone in the universe. He brought us into the universe to entertain Him. Don't you realize that this reflects His selfishness? If He had really loved us, He certainly wouldn't have brought us into this cesspool of a world. He would instead have committed suicide before He created us. He would have realized He had no right to have us as His companions. What do we think of beyond the horizons of these quotidian existence? Nothing. Absolutely nothing. Some people do try to think of things beyond our quotidian existence, but all they realize is that there is nothing but an abyss beyond. Look down into your own abyss. Don't you realize you're standing right in the middle between the limitless emptiness over you and the abyss under you?