Football, Volleyball, Baseball --- a Nonsensical Poem

Football, volleyball, baseball, softball, 
Racquetball, handball, basketball, hardball. . . . 
There're lots of sports in the world you play with a ball, 
And you can't play any of them if you're an oddball. 

If you want to be good at any such sport, 
You've certainly got to give it your all. 
No such sport is as easy as playing with a snowball. 
Choose one of those sports and pay all your attention to it. 
If you don't devote your energy to it, 
You'll surely fall into a downfall. 

Before your practice, you shouldn't take a highball 
Or any other kind of alcohol. 
If you do, you may get into a pitfall. 
During a game, there're numerous dangers to forestall. 
If you don't take enough care, you may rush into a sidewall. 
Or you may even get your head crushed against a stonewall. 

Be on guard not to catch cold during a snowfall. 
If you make any such blunder, you'll end up being a goofball. 
After your practice, take a good rest, which is a real cure-all. 
Whenever you feel dry in your nose, use a spray of aerosol. 

If your girlfriend is with you, ask her to put on a camisole. 
If she's a beautiful girl from Nepal, 
Have her use a brilliant orange parasol, 
Whose design reminds you of a refreshing waterfall. 

If you feel uncomfortable kissing her, 
Try some toothpaste with xylitol, 
Perhaps with a little bit of menthol. 
That may remind you of your ex-lover 
Who spoke beautiful Provençal. 

When you think you've eaten too much, 
Start watching your level of cholesterol. 
If you don't, you may be no better than a neanderthal. 
If you do, your life will get back to a pastorale. 
Well, I think that by now I've told you all. 

(June 28, 2015)

Copyright © | Year Posted 2017



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