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Best Poems Written by Benjamin Grimm

Below are the all-time best Benjamin Grimm poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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A Wet Dream

I am sleeping on this ocean's bed
Contemplating Beauty
That surrounds my soaking head
The beach is a mile or so away
These eyes can still see the Children play
While I'm in Dream
Not to notice or care what it might actually mean
Swimmers
youngsters
Speeders
Soldiers
Are all on the sand without lifting their hand
Sleeping Angels like I
We look above and see a sad expression start to cry
Could God be feeling sad at his WET DREAM gone awry?

WHAT DID WE DO TO LEAVE EDEN HIGH AND DRY??

The question remains just that
As my hibernation concludes
Swimming back,my friends
To a REALITY now at bat!!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006



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Burnt

Sandra was ready to PLAY
but she told me to go far AWAY
A beauty school QUEEN
would be embarrassed to be SEEN

"You're just not my type,Rodger...if ya know what I MEAN?!"

Ok..so I am not quite the STUD
But at least i'm no Elmer FUDD
Nerds hate to be picked out
however,they are no stick in the MUD

She cherishes RICK
Even though he acts like a -ICK
His Abs are lean and MEAN
A Tom Selleck lookalike MACHINE

They like to blow FACE
and spray me with her can of MACE
This four-eyed man with his pocket protector
Just got burnt by Society's perfect RACE

A chump out of SCHOOL
He is forever a FOOL
The Lasses want tight ASSES
Not a simpleton who can't help but DROOL

The world can kick THEE
Middle-class bullies  still pick on ME
I only answer to the man(upstairs)
He's the only one to set me FREE

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

Details | Benjamin Grimm Poem

Ducking My -Ucking!

The truth in SPADE
Inviting to get LAID
Gabbing on-line
Many options to be WEIGHED
Is she(or a He) RIPE-
to be just my sort of TYPE?
Old enough for a MAN-
to get it on in my Chevy VAN?
Never really FOOLED
Since the pocket protector always RULED

New at the chat LINE
Looking for over twenty
Greet 'em with a pick-me-up

"Say..you're lookin' FINE!"


Hate comin'on STRONG
to a Honey in her THONG
Maybe by sweet singin'
a Paul Anka kinda SONG
If she don't like mushy
I'll become John BELUSHI 
by Beltin' the blues
In my  Blue Suede SHOES

But then AGAIN
Age ain't my FRIEND
Guess I'm DUCKING a -UCKING
Aren't you glad this is the END?

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

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Timid Men(Picked On By Teenage Girls Around the Bend)

Timid guy is turning right
                                                  A sucker punch 
                                                  with all her might
                                                  Teenage girl of 17
                                                  Shows her elder
                                                  Just who is mean
                                                 Today's young lasses
                                                 use more than just their asses
                                                 It is a startling trend
                                                 when bullying becomes their friend
                                                 What can the little guy do-
                                                when a 6 foot cheerleader 
                                                takes a sudden swing at you?
                                                Stuck between her fingernail
                                               A fact of life for this 5ft male
                                               Females are not the victims here
                                               Taking  no bulls----
                                               while they're spreading fear
                                               Wally and the Beaver Cleaver
                                              getting tackled by Ms.Tight End receiver
                                              Little John in diapers
                                              is  humming:I'M A BELIEVER!!
                                             What a way to find
                                            Her high heels up your behind
                                            What's becoming with the Female Gender-
                                            picking FIGHTS instead of using blender?
                                           this new breed of BREASTED fighters,indeed
                                          Goodbye Rocky Balboa
                                          Adios Apollo Creed!!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

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Too Much Junk Food To the Belly

I feel that funny bulge a tingle
The mouth was craving for
Doritos and Pringle
Burger King has become the norm
This belly here is weathering hunger's Storm
French Fries Haven
for an old lard unshaven
I'm too late for a Spanish cutie
A fan of grease and some tutti-frutti
Enters the area that I call the throat
Ring Dings and cupcakes
soon they will coat
the layer of fatty flab
by forgetting the diet TAB
Bimbos love A HUNK
But not a dweeb of proportionate CHUNK
A little blueberry POP TART
For the tongue of this aging FART
Cannot savor if you give me that LIFE SAVOR
Leave me with Orville Redenbacher
If you would do me that kindly favor
We all have a thing
for munching on ONION RING
Pass the 1A
and some hamburgers our way
Flavor the bacon
scramble the egg
Mrs Parsons is 25
But already shows it in her leg
Margot sucks on a chip
All she is doing by enlarging her hip
Scotty is being naughty
That's why he's forever on the potty
Frank's sitting on the log
enjoying some HOT DOG
Patty has left for the day
before the OREOS come her way
The end is near
I feel it in my rear
As my once trim line turns jelly
From having too much junk food in my belly!!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006



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Pounds

Generation CLASS
Time is showing on our ASS
Bulging hips and aching knee caps
God doesn't hand out an "Eternal Youth" free PASS
Dear ME
The flabs are plain to SEE
I guess we're on our way now
To our advancing DESTINY
It is noticable by any MEANS
Can no longer fit  in those sexy Levi JEANs
What do I do when I have to SIT-
and those seam lines start to embarassingly SPLIT?
Women no longer FLIRT
and I can't bend over
to peer under their SKIRT
It is no good to swear and COMPLAIN
All I'll end up with is a brown smelly STAIN
As crazy as this really sounds
Our Generation(and Myself)
ARE PUTTING ON THOSE POUNDS!!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

Details | Benjamin Grimm Poem

Gimme the Fat,Ma!!

I became a FART
                                              When mother fed me a lot
                                                Every inch of jelly line
                                              But PA insists:"You're looking fine!"

                                                Searching every so
                                            for a MUSKETEER or an OREO
                                              Every gym teacher will say
                                           TOO MUCH FAT AND THE BAD NEWS WILL SHOW

                                             Egg mcmuffin or a fry
                                            I need a WHOPPER or else i'll DIE
                                            Redenbacher's a CORN
                                           But POPS away the dirty porn

                                           Clara Peller took no BULL
                                         the WENDY'S under her control FULL
                                         However,time became a THIEF
                                         when it was time to give up her BEEF

                                        THE MONKEES sold us on KELLOGGS
                                        Michael J.wanted to share his can of PEPSI
                                      Jason Alexander on his share of the CHICKEN
                                      The TIN MAN running from his CHEF BOYARDEE
 
                                       As the hunger surges on through this plain
                                      And what is left behind
                                     A HEINES ketchup stain
                                     Our quest becomes a BULGE
                                     It is time to say goodnight
                                    But HELLO to a TWINKIE i'll indulge!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

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Look Ma,I'M Getting Up There!!

I used to have a sweet HARDBODY
The babes would be a'whistlin:
"HEY,LOOK AT THAT PRECIOUS HOTTIE!"

Living off of that sexy fantasy
but ,today,the facts are clear
 SAY HELLO TO MIDDLE AGE REALITY

Home is where my flab will lie
AGING X'ER and his pounds that cry:
FORGET THE YOGURT
how-do-do-do-
Here comes the double chin
My fate coming true

Father smiles
He points to my SILVER HAIR
But now I can beam and say:
"LOOK MA,YOUR SON IS GETTING UP THERE"!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

Details | Benjamin Grimm Poem

Melvin of the Dweeb World

he sits in back of the class
                                                   The jocks throw paper airplanes
                                                    near the chump's little rear
                                                   Picking his nose-how gross!!
                                                   Laughter ensues
                                                   They all like to make fun of him the most
                                                   Teacher wants him to wear a dunce hat
                                                   Making sport of him is where the good times are at
                                                   NOSE PICKER
                                                   -SS GRABBER
                                                   FOUR-EYED FREAK
                                                   and more
                                                   The girlies all  think he's a PERV
                                                   Especially big breasted Linda
                                                   She has the nerve
                                                   Billy Bully throws his books
                                                   Eyeing Melvin with threatening looks
                                                   John-boy the janitor
                                                   makes him eat some worm
                                                   20 slimy ones
                                                   to make the runt really squirm
                                                   NO NERDS DOWN THIS HALL
                                                   so says  the dope dealers-6ft5inches tall
                                                   Poor Mel of the Dweeb sect
                                                   He hasn't somebody who could like him as yet
                                                   Some days are for the clique heirarchy
                                                   Others can be cruel to the meek and timid
                                                   LIFE IS NOT ALWAYS THAT FAIR,IS IT??

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

Details | Benjamin Grimm Poem

Butt Nothing

The flab getting clearer
old age coming nearer
My own piece of meat
too bad(she used to be so sweet)
is a butt of nothing(and that is really saying something)
Moby  @ick I am
Salt of the sea or just an unkempt man
Unsightly stomach sight
causes girls to react in fright
Melons from the sky
Bikini ladies make me cry
by making jokes:

"You no longer need to try"!
"We like younger types instead of you,UGLY GUY"
"He-men lead the way,their HARDBODIES blow us away"
"Please keep your dreams off and shut-
we don't like to look at fossil butt"
"ME GO OUT WITH YOU?PLEEEEESE-
TRY AN ORANGUTAN FROM THE NEARBY ZOO"!!

You get the gist of what they really MEAN
Slobby fogeys are dirty(SO UNCLEAN)
Man!I have become totally unfit
Smell the DIRTY BRITCHES and hold the stinking -HIT!
Maura wants ACTION
but,not an old man in TRACTION
Paula wants friend(instead of wrinkled men)

BUTT NOTHING
ain't that always the way?
This aging x'er 
is putting on his BEN GAY
THE MONKEES are old
The 90210 gang are ancient
It is the fact today
WE ARE ADVANCING
AS OUR YOUTH SURELY SLIPS AWAY
Ringo looks Better than Paul
THEY were young,hairy,and tall
But,
then again..SO DID WE ALL!

Copyright © Benjamin Grimm | Year Posted 2006

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Book: Reflection on the Important Things