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Candice Collins Poem
Long day at work and it already hurts
To know when I go home it will get nothing but worse
Im tired of going home to an empty fridge
If she knew she was going to be on drugs why have any kids?
Hurting me to see her who gave me birth
Drugged up on who knows what I sit and sob in a shirt
Constant accusations of things I never do
I'm going to stop right here wont even mention abuse
When I step into that house its like a cloud of sadness
Been going on for years no way to stop this madness
So many tears in my eyes its tearing me apart
Nothing can add up to the embarassment and shame in my heart
Expecially when all my friends have the "perfect mom"
Comming home to depression some nights I lay and sob
What hurts the most Is I dont want to leave
I want to "stay and help mommy" its sad indeed
I sometimes wake up in the middle of the night
Praying to god as I cry to make everything right
"Please lord help my mom work things through"
"Her addiction is getting worse I dont know what to do"
"For her no one is there I dont even think they're aware"
"Infact I am the only one who still even cares"
"Lord I sit and stare as her conditions get worse"
"I need some guidance tell me where to start first"
I lay back in my bed and cry myself to sleep
Thinking will she ever stop before it gets too deep?
Sunrises in the morning back up for work!
"Positive attitude" policy so I put on a smirk
Headed out the door for another long hard day
Forcing on a smile thinking "its going to be okay"..
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
Come here can I express
My Love For You I promise to do my best
And yes Im blessed with the gift to please
So please dont make me beg...or do you want me on my knees?
Bent over on all fours, have you done this before?
I want you so bad on this honeymoon night
Oh and the way im feeling now I promise to do it right
I wanna do things to you I didnt know I could
You've finally come to your senses oh baby I knew you would!
Mmm thats it right there you feel so good
Did you know I could do that?...Maybe you misunderstood
After this honeymoon night are you glad that im your wife?
Forever Ill stand by you through all the pain and the strife
I love you so much oh baby I'm in love
Thank you God for sending me this angel from above!
To my wonderful husband, who ever that may be Forever and Always we'll Be
Living Happily!
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
Poet?...
ME?..im not a poet....cant you see?
IM NO POET!!...cant you hear?
NOT a poet...sorry dear
Never once have I wrote a simile
Only this pen and pad is a friend to me
All these tears in my eyes no one hears my cries
So when im called a poet I sit and wonder why
"Poet"....
Not I, You said poet?...THATS a lie
CLOSE to a poet?.....More like a joke!
Mind of a poet?...what kind of hoax...
Not at all will I fall to that label
My shooken up mind is not even stable
Perfect a poem? Im not even able
I'd rather sit and hide.....under a table :(
Poet?!
Not this lady, feelings in words?...give that a maybe
Poet where??....SHOW ME NOW
Poetic vibes?...tell me HOW!
No poet can experience the life im in
Surrounded by games that I'll never win
Feelings as if ill never smile again...
Tears falling from a world of hate..full of sin :(
Sighs...poet
WHO?..im no poet!...maybe YOU!
NOT a poet...im just ME
Life of depression...cant you see?
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
It doesnt matter
Nothing even matters not even life, why?
Because in the end im gonna do nothing but die
Im gonna die and oh yes! your gonna die too
Why try to be the best at everything that you do?
These people have all their cars, and money galore!
But in the end it means nothing what was all of that for?
Why give out mean faces? Judge people by races?
Sit back your gonna die its the truth just face it!
Why all the hatred? Why all the mean mugz?
Stop giving out frowns and start giving out hugz
Why tell foolish lies when you know the truth!
Why play dumb games what is there to prove?
Why live out fantasiez and wildest dreams?
When in reality your dieng thats the biggest scene
People say "giiirl its life live it up good!"
Why?...im gonna die I dont think that I should
Dont dislike me either lol, its my own opinion!
I've got worse things to say but I'd rather not mention
Probly thinkin she's a bit ch so dumb so stupid! =P
Matter fact why love? He's a fag fu ck cupid!
We should cherish the things more fortunate in life
Honor the ones you love please trust me im right
I just cant seem to find the true meaning of life
Other then death I guess thats the only meaning in sight..
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
I gave him my already wounded heart
And in return this devil finished it off now its apart
What hurts the most is that I’m so in love
This angel in disguise was not sent from above
And the lies trying to convince me there’s no one else
I yet still yearn to love him in so ashamed of my self
So hurt so lost inside eyes filled with tears
Lost him but him still having my heart is the biggest fear
How could I feel so damaged but still feel attached
Keep saying its ok and just please relax
Pity myself for feeling that I’m lost without him
He tells me its nothing so bad I want to doubt him
Feelings of so strong for him so hard to turn away
I cant leave I’m so lost that I want him to stay
I’m so lost and convinced that my life revolves around him
Hurting me so bad and yet I’m still glad I found him!
My true feelings of hate trapped in a door of love
Biggest nightmare worst dream that I’ve ever dreamed of
My appearance is that I’m happy but I’m filled with so much pain
Why has this happened to me what is there to gain?
Heart pitch black feels like I’m crying inside
Can things be the way they used to be please I’m dying inside!
And yet he acts as if its nothing…as if its all me
Cant he see everyday is worse on how this is hurting me
But still I remain just stuck in this shadow of hurt
I have no day’s just nights and its getting worse
I lay in shame at night all I think about is us
The more I think about it the more I’m in disgust
In disgust because of my feelings for him…its sad
How could I love someone that makes me feel so bad?
Why does he deny doing anything wrong?
Having to wait for him to call he never answers the phone
And to handle the situation all I do is cry
So scared to ask so I sit and wonder why
If I knew love amounted to this much I wouldn’t have ever paid the cost
Yet still I’m in love with him so hurt that I’m lost…
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
The Hidden Truth
As I look into the mirror I dont even see myself
I see a coward at her BEST hiding from life its self
As I look into the mirror I dont even have a clue
Of the big lie I've become everything is untrue
As I look into the mirror the only thing I see
Is friends and family smiling at me
Because they think im happy oh NO they dont know that girl
They dont know I hate living in this currupted world!
I walk with my head up high on the inside feeling low
No one knows around me because it doesnt seem to show
They see a pretty friendly girl always "dressed so nice"
Not knowing when I go home I lay and cry at night
In a cloud of depression and stressed out from life
The pain in my wounded heart sharper than a knife
And I cant seem to find the true real me
Trust me I am not who I appear to be
People call me stuck up, funny acting, and "mean"
Not knowing things in my life arent really as they seem
So "amusing" out in the open smiling and laughing
But on the inside feeling like my world is crashing
WHATS HAPPENING?! OH YES! THE HIDDEN TRUTH!
Im dieng inside and nobody even has a clue!
Dieng to tell all the b itches calling them selves "friends"
That when it comes to them and "real" they dont even stand a chance
All my friends who were "popular" when I was in school
Looking down on other people calling them "un-cool"
Feeling bad knowing I was one of them chicks too
Now im taking a look into reality and oh guess who?..
ME! I was a phony and yes a bi tch too!
The one dorks always hated whispering "what a rich fool"
Im tired of hiding feeling like this a long while
If I could take it ALL back I'd walk around with a big smile
In the mean while I guess I'll sit back and wait
Maybe they'll figure out on their own that everything isn't great
Tired of hanging around people that are nothing but fake
Maybe they'll soon too realize what in life is at stake
Oh How long will I hide this hidden truth
No one will ever find out because their hidden too...
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
Im all alone
In a place unknown
I have nothing to hold but my fears
I can fill up a city with my tears
I can make up a song with the sound of my heart
At the end of the song my heart falls apart
Im living in a shadow and I cant find the light
My heart pitch black like a blind persons sight
In a tunnel so deep that I cant climb out
NO one can help me they dont have time now!!
Why has this happened is it because of hate?
Was this destined to happen or...is it because of fate?
Oh I wish one day that I'll soon get through this.......
But as for right now...its an impossible fools wish
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
THIS IS WHAT I HATE
When people talk about me and their lives are in jeopardy
When people thinks its easy to live life successfully
When people say things and on the inside its hurting me
This is what I hate
When everybodiez glad and im sitting there sad
When the little things that people do they dont know it makes you mad
When you miss out on the one thing that you've never had
This is what I hate
When people notice my wrong doings but never notice my tears
When people thinks its easy to live life good and clear
When people think a smile means im happy but im really covering up my fears
This is what I hate
When people talk bad about you and give your life a rate
When people dont see that with DEATH im setting up a date!!!!!
When by the time people notice me....im gone and its too late
THIS is what I hate..........
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
Look At the sky so beautiful and so bright.
The one thing that god left us to look up to at night.
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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Candice Collins Poem
THE SEED
I need the seed to succeed and believe that I can acheive all the things that I
greive
I need the love from the heavens up above to destroy the mug for my enemies
with a grudge
I need the light to provide the sight for all the things in my life not appearing to be
right
I need the rain to shower away the pain from all the things in my heart that I need
to change
To Remain Sane...
I need to gain the confidence from a spot where Im trying to aim
I need the wind to blow me away from sin pushing me into the spot where I can
try again
Until then....
I need to win all the things in my path that I know I'll pin...
I need to greive so I can succeed all the things in my life that provides that seed
Copyright © Candice Collins | Year Posted 2006
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