So Lost

I gave him my already wounded heart And in return this devil finished it off now its apart What hurts the most is that I’m so in love This angel in disguise was not sent from above And the lies trying to convince me there’s no one else I yet still yearn to love him in so ashamed of my self So hurt so lost inside eyes filled with tears Lost him but him still having my heart is the biggest fear How could I feel so damaged but still feel attached Keep saying its ok and just please relax Pity myself for feeling that I’m lost without him He tells me its nothing so bad I want to doubt him Feelings of so strong for him so hard to turn away I cant leave I’m so lost that I want him to stay I’m so lost and convinced that my life revolves around him Hurting me so bad and yet I’m still glad I found him! My true feelings of hate trapped in a door of love Biggest nightmare worst dream that I’ve ever dreamed of My appearance is that I’m happy but I’m filled with so much pain Why has this happened to me what is there to gain? Heart pitch black feels like I’m crying inside Can things be the way they used to be please I’m dying inside! And yet he acts as if its nothing…as if its all me Cant he see everyday is worse on how this is hurting me But still I remain just stuck in this shadow of hurt I have no day’s just nights and its getting worse I lay in shame at night all I think about is us The more I think about it the more I’m in disgust In disgust because of my feelings for him…its sad How could I love someone that makes me feel so bad? Why does he deny doing anything wrong? Having to wait for him to call he never answers the phone And to handle the situation all I do is cry So scared to ask so I sit and wonder why If I knew love amounted to this much I wouldn’t have ever paid the cost Yet still I’m in love with him so hurt that I’m lost…