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Angela Paulsen Poem
-mom-
Im sorry for all the fights
It doesnt matter whos right
I dont want to think I’m losing you
But what if I do
Will you still say I dont care
The truth is I do
All the times I didn’t say I love you too
But I do…..
No matter where you are
Near or far
Youre still my mom and I love you For who you are
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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Angela Paulsen Poem
You know what depression feels like? Well, let me just tell you. It feels like you're helpless, like you just feel so broken, that you'll never be okay again; as if you ever were...
Now anxiety feels like you're drowning. The worst panic attack is when you're out having fun or even in your room crying and all of a sudden you're fighting for air and you actually feel like you're drowning. If you're around people you just laugh because you don't want it to seem like your lungs are sucking at being lungs and your mind is racing because who knows what kind of hurtful things they'll say.
Social anxiety is more in your mind. When people laugh you are so convinced they are laughing at you and you never feel good enough.
Being bullied is never fun and most of us have been a victim of bullying at least once. That rhyme about sticks and stones and how words will never hurt, but take it from me, words hurt more than broken bones. With each hurtful word they say, it destroys you more than blades ever could.
Sexual assault has the power to break a person. After everything that has happened you find it hard to ever look a person in the eye. What if they see what's on the inside? You're filled with lies, even your smile is a lie.
Self-harm, I could never tell you why that girl in your class is covered in scars and always looks so sad. I'm not her so I don't know why she feels so low that hurting herself is the only thing to do. We don't do it for attention. why would we try so hard to hide it if we wanted peoples attention? You believe your scars are your story and if they fade, you have no story so you keep hurting yourself, just to feel something.
I, myself have faced my demons many times. I feel broken and unwanted. I've experienced all of this and more, the constant pain and asking yourself, when is this ever gonna end? Hold on it gets better.
~Be Happy,
Be Beautiful,
Be you~
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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Angela Paulsen Poem
You text her things you would never say to her face.
You think it won’t hurt her.
So you keep going for weeks until she skips school.
You still harass her.
Her mom died from cancer the other day.
You keep bullying her.
You have a bunch of guys beat her up after school.
Her dad abuses her too.
The next day she is not at school.
She’s not there for weeks.
Finally your teacher tells the whole class she took her life.
You cry……You’re hurt but it’s your fault.
You can’t unsay and undo all of what happened.
You can’t take back those words, shes gone.
How many people have to die for everyone to understand words hurt.
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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Angela Paulsen Poem
Let me take this rope, tie it around my neck and step off the chair.
Let me take this gun, put it to my head and pull the trigger.
Let me take all three bottles of pills.
Let me drink this bleach.
Let me take this knife and cut out the part of me that cares for you.
Just please, I am begging you
Let me go
Let me stop hurting
Stop trying to save me
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2015
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Angela Paulsen Poem
I have cut….. and I am trying to overcome self harm. But if it makes you feel better why stop?
Well yea it makes you feel better for like five minutes but is it really worth it?
What do you do after the pain is gone?
When I first cut myself i was dealing with a break up and I thought I will just cut this once it
wont happen again. I was wrong it slowly spreads taking over your skin, brain then your life.
People find out…. and rumors spread. People try to stop you but you say they
don’t understand and push them away but you promise them you will stop anyway but you do
it again. You’re addicted to the pain and anyone who will try to stop you will be ignored.
You don’t know that you’re doing this but your'e making it easy to let go of this world by
blocking people from your life. It’s a scary road that I wish I didn’t go down you can’t escape
or run back to being happy you have to continue down that same road but stronger than ever.
In the end you’re left with these scars... a story is told with every cut and word you cut into
your skin. No not everyone will understand but just promise me and mean it that tonight or
ever you won’t cut.
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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Angela Paulsen Poem
People just do't know there words can destroy a person..
You don't know that that person is going through at home....
But to all you self harmers and victims of bullying STAY STRONG
No matter what anyone says you're beautiful just stay true to you.
So put down the blade and take a look around
Things may not be great right now but a storm can't last forever
You are strong and I promise you will make it through all of this
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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Angela Paulsen Poem
I bet four year old me never saw this coming.
I bet she never thought she would be sitting all alone in her room crying,
Dreaming of dying.
Poor girl. But now she's covered in scars.
She wants to be happy but she will only be happy one she's dead.
That little four year old girl is not so little and innocent anymore.
She is now 14 and buried underneath red roses.
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2015
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Angela Paulsen Poem
They say write how you feel and what you think of.
But everytime I try I just end up with all these fancy ways of saying I want to die.
I realized when I was very young that I could kill myself.
Afterall mommy had tried and daddy had cried.
I kept their secrets like all the shit that was talked about the other.
Or when they said they still loved each other.
Why?
Why am I still here?
I just want to end it all...
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2015
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Angela Paulsen Poem
He beat me,
I've been defeated.
He said love hurts,
but not like this.
"This Isn't me, baby I love you"
You kicked me while I was down,
I let you trick me,
You call this love?
Abuse isn't romantic.
We were both messed up,
You beat me and I stuck around.
Four months, not every day was bad.
Cut wrists and you'd still hit me,
Broken heart and you still hit me.
Daddy never raised, mommy never cared,
your whole family sleeps around.
Broken home, drugs were the way out.
"Hold my hand, make it look like you're happy"
You'd tell me my attitude was crappy,
another hit,
all you gave was bruises
I stuck around,
I'm now asking what was wrong with me?
I saw the little bit of good in you,
but you couldn't prove any of it true.
Now the bruises are healing
and the scars are somewhat fading.
but the mark you left on my heart and soul will never heal, never fade.
I'll be forced to live each day, this way
His voice, echoing through my mind
His face, , Images in my head,
I wish they will disappear
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~AUTHORS NOTE :)
Hey! So for those that are wondering this is true.
It was so hard to write about and I still find each day a challenge.
This guy was my boyfriend when I was 11 and he was 15.
I know the age is a huge thing but that doesn't mean I deserved any of this.
I am 13 now
To anyone who is going through something like this please talk to someone.
I am here for anyone.
Message me on kik at- angela7171
Also my Facebook is Angela Elizabeth Paulsen if you message me please tell me how you know me so I don't block you, I tend to block people I don't know.
Have a great day!! Stay Beautiful!! :)
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2015
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Angela Paulsen Poem
I sleep more often,
My dreams are better than reality.
Lately I've had the audacity to put the blade down.
Starving for perfection,
Can't stand to see my reflection.
I want the pain I got from cutting
I promised them I wouldn't let a blade touch my skin
They say killing myself would be a sin
But I am already in hell
I guess only time will tell...
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2015
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