The Pain Inside
You know what depression feels like? Well, let me just tell you. It feels like you're helpless, like you just feel so broken, that you'll never be okay again; as if you ever were...
Now anxiety feels like you're drowning. The worst panic attack is when you're out having fun or even in your room crying and all of a sudden you're fighting for air and you actually feel like you're drowning. If you're around people you just laugh because you don't want it to seem like your lungs are sucking at being lungs and your mind is racing because who knows what kind of hurtful things they'll say.
Social anxiety is more in your mind. When people laugh you are so convinced they are laughing at you and you never feel good enough.
Being bullied is never fun and most of us have been a victim of bullying at least once. That rhyme about sticks and stones and how words will never hurt, but take it from me, words hurt more than broken bones. With each hurtful word they say, it destroys you more than blades ever could.
Sexual assault has the power to break a person. After everything that has happened you find it hard to ever look a person in the eye. What if they see what's on the inside? You're filled with lies, even your smile is a lie.
Self-harm, I could never tell you why that girl in your class is covered in scars and always looks so sad. I'm not her so I don't know why she feels so low that hurting herself is the only thing to do. We don't do it for attention. why would we try so hard to hide it if we wanted peoples attention? You believe your scars are your story and if they fade, you have no story so you keep hurting yourself, just to feel something.
I, myself have faced my demons many times. I feel broken and unwanted. I've experienced all of this and more, the constant pain and asking yourself, when is this ever gonna end? Hold on it gets better.
~Be Happy,
Be Beautiful,
Be you~
Copyright © Angela Paulsen | Year Posted 2014
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