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Carson Jones Poem
Kid shows turn to he'll as Dora pulls up her shirt, Barney touches me and it all begins to hurt, spongebob and Patrick makeout in public, Ronald McDonald slaps my mom, and now Hannah Montana wears a thong. The wiggle get out of their clothes and kiss little kids, as yo gabba gabba calls me a b*tch. Blues clues bites you and Mickey mouse fights you! Goofy isn't fun when he grabs you by the neck, I can't breath and my father tells me just to forget, it's all pretend, he says as he gets into my bed...
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2014
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Carson Jones Poem
Long nails
baggy clothes
Tangled hair
dry throat
Poor girl, sits alone
She's bullied
Picked on
Left alone
But stays strong
She wants to be loved
Why?
Why is she here?
Isn't suicide a priority?
Or is it a fear?
She's alive today,
but what about next year?
Is it rain, or tear?
She let it go,
Now she's here...
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
i wish i hadn't worn so much makeup.
i wish i didn't wear that shirt.
i wish i didn't tempt those men.
i wish i didn't,
because it was my fault that these two men wanted to touch me against my will.
because it was a 13 year old fault to be pushed around and hurt.
was it really me who asked for "it"?
dirt on my back two men hands wrapped around my wrists, stricken by fear not able to fight or scream.
no, never forcing themselves inside of me.
no, never hitting me.
but feeling their hands touch my innocent body.
still only a child. never understanding sexual assault.
it seemed like a lifetime but was only a minute.
then they were gone.
never seeing their faces.
never hearing a name.
i kept a dark secret for years.
i never thought anyone should care.
it wasn't rape.
but it wasn't fair.
why would anyone care?
would they even believe me?
i wish i didn't provoke them with my sexuality.
oh please tell me how i wanted it.
and how i was asking for it.
i just wish...
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2015
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Carson Jones Poem
hello my name is hooligan
years ago i lost my bestfriend
he laughed everyday
but left before i got to say
i love you
hello my name is dumb
but the memories were so fun
you had a smile on your face but yet you couldnt stay we still love you.
rip justin baker.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
she's beautiful,
with hair dark and deep.
i imagine me running my fingers through it.
i imagine kissing her cheeks.
ive wanted her forever.
i need her right now.
but she's like a bird
nobody can tie her down.
i wish i had her with me. so i can tell her these things.
and i also wish i could tell my mom, who would be so disapointed in me.
i only wish i could come out and scream to the world.
"I DON'T CARE I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL!"
i only wish that my mother could see,
that even though i might be gay, i still want her to love me.
so tonight ill call her, my lover (if that) and fight with her when she ccalls herself fat.
i laugh along with her, and talk about her day.
then my mom will burst through the door crying. then i'll tell her, im gay.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
i know im in love, and i know who with,
but he'll never love me back itd be too quick,
he's tall, funny, handsom and just great,
and i know if i fell for him, id look like fish bait,
he sits next to me and makes me laugh,
i'm sure im headed on the right path,
i'll smile and giggle at his cute jokes,
and hope to god he knows im stoked,
im crazy to see him every day,
i want him to hold me in every wich way,
and ill sit at this table in this chair
and when he's talking ill politley stare,
ill smile so wide so he knows im happy,
and ill pray to god people dont day "make this snappy"
and all i could live is knowing he's ok,
and he doesnt have to talk to me but he does anyways,
im one of his friends and a good one in fact,
and i know he likes girl. just not me and that's that,
but im glad i have him and his voice to listen to,
and im glad i have his jokes that are never just a few,
i've seen the way hes looks at me, i know ive felt his touch,
but just dreaming of kissing him will never be enough,
so ill slit my wrist crying over him,
and the girl he truly loves she makes my day dim,
people dont know what goes on in his head,
but i for sure do and its something i dread,
he thinks about sports and girls unnlike me.
and just thinking of him hurts like being stung by a bee,
so tonight ill think of him and be stung all over,
and as long as im in love ill never feel sober,
getting drunk of the touch when you nudge my shoulder,
and dreaming we'll be together when we grow older.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
a man i know has come along
reading all of my poetry.
he talks to me for moral support.
a man who is great at a sport.
the sport i talk about is friendship you see.
a strange to both you and me.
if you're the stranger
reading my post
you are now a friend
i will gladly be your host.
when people look down on me
with their agonizing words
you're always there
sticking up for me.
being an unknown friend.
a stranger yes
but a fine one indeed
a friend i would like, let alone need
so if you accept my invite to you.
i would like to think of myself as your friend too.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2014
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Carson Jones Poem
I cut my hair.
I screamed out loud.
I've scarred my wrist.
And in not proud.
But I'm stuck in this dark place,
my eyes pinched tight.
I'm afraid to step out.
Out into the light.
First my grandpa,
Then the women I love.
My cousin,
My aunt,
They're resting above.
They all died and now another.
he was so close he could've been my brother.
I'm sick of the doctors.
I'm tired of death.
why can't I forget.
I yelled,
I fought.
I cussed,
I cried.
Sometimes I feel like I died inside.
I hate that God took them.
I wish he let them stay,
But I'm glad they're now out of their pain.
I wear dark clothes.
And my make up is smeared.
But I miss her hair.
His smell.
His beard.
I'm done with funerals. I'm done with my food.
I want to be with them.
But I don't want to lose.
I won't give in to death. I'll fight my wars like them.
I'll bring the light through this darkness and rain.
I'll survive through this pain...
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
20 miles below me are cars ruhing by
and i know i shouldnt be here, but i am and i dont know why
but when i felt that PANG,
that feeling in my gut ,
i knew i had to get out, out of that dumb rut
im insane for sitting here, high up on this ledge
but if you hurt this bad, you too would jump off the edge
and the tears that fall, fall slower than i
for im going down, and i will surly die
so before i fall and let gravity take me down
make sure you say good-bye and please do not frown.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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Carson Jones Poem
If I tell you something.
Promise not to run away?
If I tell you a secret, are you here to stay?
I'm afraid to tell you.
Because of how you are.
But to me your like a star.
Your always up. Sometimes hard to find.
But no matter what you always shine.
Your like a bird.
Or maybe the sun, because I can't catch
you,
Yet your bright and fun.
Your the best I could ask for.
The best in the world.
And that's coming from a little girl.
I might be crazy. (Possibly insane)
But it feels real, not fly. Not plain.
I trust you dearly, with all my heart
And this is only the star.
This little secret, is a pretty big one if that.
I'm love sick, and I need a doctor stat.
So I guess you get the idea.
Kinda cheesy, I know.
But there's it one way I can explain it.
And it won't work over the phone.
Your the best friend I've ever had.
The sweetest guy in the world.
And to be honest,
I love you like crazy...
And that's coming from a little girl.
Copyright © Carson Jones | Year Posted 2013
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