Battles

I cut my hair. I screamed out loud. I've scarred my wrist. And in not proud. But I'm stuck in this dark place, my eyes pinched tight. I'm afraid to step out. Out into the light. First my grandpa, Then the women I love. My cousin, My aunt, They're resting above. They all died and now another. he was so close he could've been my brother. I'm sick of the doctors. I'm tired of death. why can't I forget. I yelled, I fought. I cussed, I cried. Sometimes I feel like I died inside. I hate that God took them. I wish he let them stay, But I'm glad they're now out of their pain. I wear dark clothes. And my make up is smeared. But I miss her hair. His smell. His beard. I'm done with funerals. I'm done with my food. I want to be with them. But I don't want to lose. I won't give in to death. I'll fight my wars like them. I'll bring the light through this darkness and rain. I'll survive through this pain...