I Only Wish

she's beautiful, with hair dark and deep. i imagine me running my fingers through it. i imagine kissing her cheeks. ive wanted her forever. i need her right now. but she's like a bird nobody can tie her down. i wish i had her with me. so i can tell her these things. and i also wish i could tell my mom, who would be so disapointed in me. i only wish i could come out and scream to the world. "I DON'T CARE I'M IN LOVE WITH A GIRL!" i only wish that my mother could see, that even though i might be gay, i still want her to love me. so tonight ill call her, my lover (if that) and fight with her when she ccalls herself fat. i laugh along with her, and talk about her day. then my mom will burst through the door crying. then i'll tell her, im gay.