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Ryan Hebets Poem
I see darkness; coldness; an abyss. I feel cold; lonely; and fear. I know not of how I am able to change my current course in the sea of indifference. My oars are but a shell of the person I used to be. My boat is a hollowed out soul. The fear I feel is irrational, but it’s my truth. My anchor is the pain of my anguished self. The water I float on is the tears that I can’t cry and hold within. My destination is unknown but not worth the trip. My navigation equipment is the smile of yours that I will never be able to obtain.
Does the course make the person or does the person make the course? Will we ever know until we get there? Is the pain of life worth the trip? When does one know when the trip is even over? When we die? Is it before our death? Is it after our death? Does it even matter? Why do we make impossible plans for our future, when our present needs the most tending? How can I allow one person dictate how I choose to course my voyage? Not anymore.
I tried to hold on to you with whatever strength I had. I don’t have the strength any longer. Now you are nothing more than debris in the river I am forging. Your opinion is like a drop of water in the midst of the ocean I have taken my voyage on. The tides are lower everyday because I no longer cry over you. There is nothing left for me to do, but to ride on my present course, and to find my true inner self. My course has been changed. My navigation set anew. Now my course shall be whatever I choose. No longer will it be what I think you would have me choose. Never again, will you be my tugboat. I am my own ship now!
Copyright © Ryan Hebets | Year Posted 2012
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Ryan Hebets Poem
Small and silver feel the bite,
on this stark cold dreary night.
Run a line across my arm;
watch the razor work its charm.
A river of red courses to the floor,
As I shiver more and more.
A stream of tears flow from my eyes,
not from grief, but last good-byes.
It’s not your fault, don’t blame yourself.
I’m the one who’s in this mess.
I tried so hard to just be me.
But in the end, I was never free.
Life is hard, the pain was short.
I just wanted to take the easy way out.
Now my mind it starts to fade,
And I know that it’s my last day.
As I close my eyes, this one last time,
I say my final, last good-bye.
Copyright © Ryan Hebets | Year Posted 2012
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Ryan Hebets Poem
What’s going on with my body?
What’s going on with my mind?
The thoughts in my head,
are not thoughts of mine.
His body is so sexy, yet so is she.
What the hell is wrong with me?
What if I told my mother, what would I say?
“Hey mom I love you, oh by the way, I’m gay?”
I could never tell my father, I know it would break his heart.
News like this would make some people fall apart.
Could I tell my friends? What would they think?
Would they tell me to go away? That I’m nothing but a freak?
This is the kind of thing that lasts for a lifetime.
If I told anyone, they would drop me on a dime.
Feelings of panic, fear, and shame.
What have I done to my family name?
Who can I tell, who can I trust?
As I hide everything inside,
I feel that I might bust.
I want to be me, I want to be free.
Is there a place I can seek, so I can see?
I can be myself, yet not be alone?
Time may pass, and that might be.
But whether or not you like me.
I am who I am.
Copyright © Ryan Hebets | Year Posted 2012
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Ryan Hebets Poem
Sometimes life is tragic, sometimes life is tough.
Always and forever sometimes aren’t enough.
Sometimes you might feel, and sometimes you express,
all of your hopes, fears; dreams; and thoughts of loneliness.
Sometimes you must sit other times take a stand.
Fighting for our rights, and all that we believe in.
Life is full of choices, but liberty isn’t free.
The pursuit of all our happiness,
comes down to you and me.
We have the right to just say no,
but most of us say yes.
A commitment of a couple years,
to always give our best.
“God Bless America” We shout from sea to sea,
everyone who comes here, makes up our family tree.
Just a simple country in the world, we always pass the test.
Again, and again, and again… To show that we’re the best.
Copyright © Ryan Hebets | Year Posted 2012
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Ryan Hebets Poem
You left my heart in pieces the day you stole my life.
My tears have made a puddle on my kitchen floor.
The puddle became a lake and I went for a swim.
I swam out to the middle of that lake.
I became tired and exhausted.
I felt myself fall deeper into the water.
I can’t breathe, I begin to panic.
I try to scream, but my lungs fill with water.
I feel myself go deeper still.
I struggle and sink lower.
I close my eyes and know that this is it.
I am going to die.
I open my eyes and I am in the kitchen.
I never die, but I want to.
You took my life when you took my heart.
Copyright © Ryan Hebets | Year Posted 2012
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