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Best Poems Written by Travis Grider

Below are the all-time best Travis Grider poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Travis Grider Poem

My Monster

The monster of the night,
Has returned again to play,
My body fills with awful fright.
There’s nothing I can do or say.

The monster rips me out of bed,
He pulls me upright, griping me tight.
Knowing what’s to come, this I dread.
My monster is overpowering, no way to fight.

Time is right, games about to begin,
Look anywhere but down, never look down.
This is not my fault, what’s happening is a sin.
Hold my breath, and don’t make a sound.
 Last time was the last time, but he’s back again.
Forever praying my monster and I be found.

It’s over now; he leaves me with a threat,
To tell anyone of our game will cause you to die.
Not saying anything the first time; my biggest regret.
Now on a Dr. Allen’s couch; is where I will try to lie?

Getting high alleviates the pain and shame.
Like it never happened, just a bad dream,
Tortured soul; a result from the monsters game,
My monster will be judged, God will come to redeem.

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Descend

An infinite spiral downward... a bottomless cavern,
Thinking I'm pulling myself up and out....
When in reality I'm pulling more rope down off an endless spool,
I'm forever encased in this tomb,
A tomb, I myself have chosen...
The world is alive and breathing above me,
While vile and repugnance rains down upon the...
More I pull, the further I descend,
My strength resembles that of a child...
Intellect has become stagnant...
Hopelessness engulfing who I've chosen to be,
An unwinnable war, waged in the belly of the beast...
How far must I fall before my pain will cease?
It has been said," He will not give you more than you can bear".
But in some cases...cases that are extremely rare...
You will find us assembled here...
Down here, waiting....
Waiting for the time, to unleash all that you fear!
Until then... look through your closed eyes into mine...
Look past my blackest eyes, what do you see...?
A warning for the... you won't like what you'll find!

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Free

We’ve been together for so long
 it’s hard to let go.
But the time has come
 for me to go on my own I know.
Anxiety is overcoming me 
 our mutual agreed separation.
The feelings of being alone
 have an atrocious reputation.
But I take a leap of faith 
 let go of the hand I’ve held so long.
Mixed feelings start flooding over me
 which are neither right nor wrong,
Out on my own feels like flying 
or even floating in the air,
It feels euphoric but never wanting to forget you
 I look back and stare.
With a new life ahead of me
 I twist and turn in all directions.
I leave where I land in life to fate,
 so in flight I make no corrections.
The memories and time we spent together
 now races thru my mind.
I’m fleeing from you so fast now 
it feels as if I’m flying blind.
I begin to wonder if you’ll miss me
 as much as I’ll miss you,
I go back and forth with this thought
 and discontent begins to brew.
Did we make the right decision I wonder,
  then I remember your last words,
It’ll be hard at first,
 but then you’ll feel 
as free spirited as the soaring birds.
So adventure awaits me with a new beginning,
 and I do start to feel free.
Then my landing jolts my memory
  I’m hit with an awful reality,
I’m neither living nor free;
 I’m just a leaf who fell from its tree.

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Righteous Hand

A sacrificial lamb to his lust…
I’m one of many, his angel of dust,
Swallowed in his shadow's reach…
I’ve witnessed everything he has to teach.
Perverse rituals of his need,
Praying I was the only… that soiled his seed.

Hiding behind this battered mask…
“Isn’t this how we are loved, “He’d ask?
Grasping for all that’s left of sanity…
As he spews over my body his inhumanity,

The alcohol fogs over his laugh…
How the hell does he conceal this gaffe?
I wrench the comforter through my fingers…
As the blood and stool aroma lingers…

Becoming too much, in my head I disengage…
Darkened emptiness filled with utter rage…
The bed squeaks as the weight is released…
Brushing my hair from my eyes does the beast…
Every purity within has forever ceased,

I relax, for I know vengence will be mine…
I wait, and I find the perfect time…
Because on my dresser… a revolver for two
One for me, but first, one for you…
And here in this chamber,
 I have pointed at you… The righteous hand of God,
Will decide with you,
What to do…

Details | Travis Grider Poem

Masks

There’s no escape,
From what you are,
Exhausting all efforts
In finding a cloak,

The mask I wear today
Blinds you tomorrow,
Leaving me dissecting,
The left over grief and guilt

Hiding in disguise
Immense pain 
Set firmly in stone,
Of the features of my face

Today…I’m who 
I need to be,
Simultaneously,
Needing who I,
Absolutely want to be

All the while I bury,
The infectious dreams,
Deep down in my soul,
For only me to see

I’ve worn too many masks,
Lost my bearing…
Searching for one to claim…
Who do I become…?
Who do I enjoy being…?

Better yet…
Who the hell am I…?
Distorted focus of a stare…
Screw it… who cares anyway?
I have the perfect mask,
Just for that!

Details | Travis Grider Poem

Within

He lurks and prowls
 Around every corner waiting,
I am an addict, an easy target,
 So he waits salivating.
The demon tempts me
 Everyday with persuasions
I’ve let the demon in with
 My self inflicted lacerations.
Like a stray cat he returns to my door
 For that’s where he feeds.
Screaming, pleading that one more fix
 Is all that he needs
The stench of the undead consumes me
 As he whispers in my ear,
Losing Gods will and relinquishing
 To the monster is what I fear.
These whispers and temptations
 I pray for the Lord to alleviate.
With every step in sobriety
  Demon breathes the notion to deviate.
His frozen cold breath singes 
And burns against my cheek
A feeling I combat every hour, 
Everyday of every week,
From the time I rise till I lay down my head
 This battle rages within.
For I am the demon, the demon is I,
 So is it possible that I will ever win.

Details | Travis Grider Poem

Why

Why can’t I control my own emotions?
My anger devours my soul,
The rage boils over, spewing over.
I feel it coming,
 Like the tremors of an earthquake.
Like the rumbles of a tornado.
Like the blast of a volcano.
And yet, I can do nothing to stop it.
What’s the purpose of early warning signals?
When it’s so powerful that I can’t prevent it,
The rage takes over, pushing me out of myself,
I float along side,
Watching the tyrant rant,
Wishing I could slap this monster,
Slap it back to reality…
I try to take over the reins,
Bounded by its defense,
I don’t understand this…
I’ve defeated and survived more treacherous.
Why can’t I beat this demon?
I harbor such pain, misery, and guilt.
It feeds the wraith, strengthening his wrath.
The heat that coincides with the rage is unbearable.
It’s now to late… what’s done is now done.
I bleed back into myself.
I can taste the anger,
I can smell the fear.
I can feel the pressure caving in.
My vision blurs back into focus,
Leaving me to witness the damage,
Leaving me to apologize for me,
What do I say… that hasn’t been said before?
To say that it’s not my fault…
Is too painful to try…
Of course it’s my fault…
I control my actions… don’t I?
I control who I am…right?
Right…?
Maybe… maybe not!
What I do control is…
Having the guts to hurt myself…
By loving you…
And saying goodbye!

Details | Travis Grider Poem

Done

Become everything you are,
Recognition of what lies within.
True colors blinded by the darkness.
A demon roams underneath my skin.

Truth is splattered with such force,
Against the inner walls of my soul,
Wave after wave of uncontrolled insanity,
Coats the hollow lining of my skull,

Who I once was has now ceased,
An addicted demon rules over my heart.
Self deprecation heavily soaks my body.
A demon so thirsty, binding me from the start.

Things I knew, I never felt.
Things I felt, I never knew.
Poison racing through my veins.
A weak junkie is how I will be construed.

Despair over takes my will to live.
Done with this evil, I can not lie.
Slice the vein, bleed out the poison.
Fighting darkness to write my goodbye

Details | Travis Grider Poem

Whispers

He’s awaken by a whisper in his ear,
The demons return; his deepest and darkest fear.
He shouts, “I don’t want to do this anymore.”
Demon whispers, “Come on, give me one more score.”
He shouts, “I hate you, please leave me alone.”
Demon whispers, “But I need it” with a long drawn out moan.
He shouts, “I’m done, my life is going to change.”
Demon whispers, “Why are you doing this, you’re acting so strange?”
He shouts, “I’m begging you to find someone else instead.”
Demon whispers, “I’m hungry and I need to be fed.”
He shouts, “Shut up, you’re driving me insane.”
Demon whispers, “You brought me here, you are to blame.”
He shouts, “I know but I will not do it again.”
Demon whispers, “You know how strong I am, you’ll never win.”
He shouts, “You underestimate me, you’re no longer in my life.”
Demon whispers, “I will always be here, I’m what you’ll forever strife.”
He shouts, “With sobriety, come new found strengths.”
Demon whispers, “To bring you back, I’ll go to great lengths.”
He shouts, “Never again, I’m going to sleep.”
He then hears the demon cry, beg, and then weep.
He closes his eyes and whispers, “I am the demon, and the demon is I.”
Then the demon shouts, “So how will we ever survive?”