Why

Why can’t I control my own emotions? My anger devours my soul, The rage boils over, spewing over. I feel it coming, Like the tremors of an earthquake. Like the rumbles of a tornado. Like the blast of a volcano. And yet, I can do nothing to stop it. What’s the purpose of early warning signals? When it’s so powerful that I can’t prevent it, The rage takes over, pushing me out of myself, I float along side, Watching the tyrant rant, Wishing I could slap this monster, Slap it back to reality… I try to take over the reins, Bounded by its defense, I don’t understand this… I’ve defeated and survived more treacherous. Why can’t I beat this demon? I harbor such pain, misery, and guilt. It feeds the wraith, strengthening his wrath. The heat that coincides with the rage is unbearable. It’s now to late… what’s done is now done. I bleed back into myself. I can taste the anger, I can smell the fear. I can feel the pressure caving in. My vision blurs back into focus, Leaving me to witness the damage, Leaving me to apologize for me, What do I say… that hasn’t been said before? To say that it’s not my fault… Is too painful to try… Of course it’s my fault… I control my actions… don’t I? I control who I am…right? Right…? Maybe… maybe not! What I do control is… Having the guts to hurt myself… By loving you… And saying goodbye!