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Hollie Moore Poem
You wanna know what one of the worst things in the world is...
depression
Yes depression is horrible it eats away at you and makes you feel empty pointless and non existent.
Non existent you may think how does that make sense well let me explain it, it eats away at you that much it makes you feel like youre no longer a person you have no feelings youre empty inside, you may as well be dead but that’s not the worst part.
The worst part is when you fight so hard to get to that happy part in your life and everything is going alright pretty well I could say, all these dark thoughts all the nights your laying there wishing to be dead there all gone and you think they will never come back but youre wrong.
And that is the worst part just when everything was going right for a change it creeps back and slowly but it’s like it’s all at once you’re facing everything you thought u had defeated.
All the time and effort you put in to being strong and getting through the hard times just wasted, feels like you did it for nothing and yeah you may think well you did it once why can’t you do it again but it’s not like that it’s harder this time, it’s more of struggle and that time u were so ready to give up its 10 times worse because your facing all those problems again but this time there’s more.
Your heads a mess, your hearts a wreck, there’s hardly anything left of you and that’s when you think what is the point? What’s the point In living? What’s the point in being here when everyday is a fight with yourself?
No one will ever understand you so you try to keep it all to yourself like nothings going on like everything is getting better, to everyone your happy can’t they see the smile on your face? But we all know if they looked in your eyes they would see youre breaking they would know that, that smile they see is fake. But for now that doesn’t matter because they can’t see that, they don’t know how much their words hurt you isn’t it all a joke? Oh of course I guess you just got the wrong idea, how pathetic right?
These people going around with all their harsh words not realising how much it can affect someone, those words they say can end someone’s life and nobody’s realised that, nobody’s stopping them, all those words there just a joke to everyone but yourself. No body thinks anymore about what their saying they don’t think that oh would I like it if somebody said that to me no, theyre just caught up in the moment making somebody’s else’s life worse to the point you think youre the problem, to the point you can’t face another day and that’s when the dark thoughts come, that’s when you look in the mirror and see somebody you don’t even recognise, a person you don’t love a person nobody can love,
And that, that is the worst thing about depression
Copyright © Hollie Moore | Year Posted 2025
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Hollie Moore Poem
Heart break.
It’s not just a feeling, it mentally messes you up. Heartbreak is so strong, it’s like a pain in your chest that won’t go away, it’s like you can physically feel your heart splitting in two. I wish I didn’t know how it felt to have your heart broken but unfortunately I do so let me explain to you how it feels,
When you hear the words or see the action that causes you to feel this way, you feel pain and a lot of it, sometimes it hurts so much it’s like You can’t even breathe, your chest gets tighter and you can feel your whole world falling apart, right now you may be thinking I’m exaggerating but once your heartbroken there’s no feeling quite as strong, you feel like you have nothing left, nothing to live for. What’s the point in carrying on when you don’t have that thing no more?
Let me tell you my heartbreak started when he left me, when he sent me that text my heart shattered into a million pieces, he broke me, I didn’t know what to do I didn’t know how to cope and I still don’t know how I’m coping, it’s like missing him comes in waves one night you will be in calm waves and the next you will be drowning. My experience of heartbreak consists of missing him a lot and doing things that break me even more.
Everyday I wake up and have to deal with this pain, it’s the strongest feeling in the world it takes over you but you just have to pretend your fine, make it seem like your not suffering you don’t miss him, he’s not on your mind every second of the day, he’s just a stranger now just remember that, and as your reminding yourself that he comes more into your life, not only that you start to find your happiness again and then suddenly and all at once it’s been taken from you once again, you start to think where did I go wrong? What did I do to make him leave again? And then once again he’s just a stranger. That’s when the lonely nights start to creep back in, you had forgotten just how strong the pain is, when you once was used to it to now feeling it all over again, it tears you down, every time you loose a part of yourself and it’s left with him. You don’t help yourself you just keep feeding yourself memories and once again can’t get him off your mind. You try everything to stop yourself from thinking about him but it’s like there’s a hole that needs to be filled in you and everything you do isn’t good enough, unless it’s him, he’s what’s needed to fill the hole. But is it worth it? Putting yourself through all of this pain to find your happiness but knowing your not going to find it because it’s him and you don’t and never will have him. While your trying to reach out for him again not only are you hurting yourself but You start hurting others. Knowing Your doing that makes it all 10x worse, just because your broken doesn’t mean you have to break others, but it’s not like Your intentionally doing it, you just do things in the wrong way and end up hurting them. All You want is for the pain to be gone. I’ve heard something before that says sometimes you have to be selfish and think of yourself to make you happy, so you do and at the time You found your happiness but afterwards the consequences were worse and You can’t tell whether you was better off before or after.
At some point you get to the point where you know nothing you do will make you feel better and nothing can make you feel worse. All that’s left to say is Your broken, your hearts been ripped out and there’s no going back.
Copyright © Hollie Moore | Year Posted 2025
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Hollie Moore Poem
Anxiety and depression
Everyone can only imagine what something feels like, they never know what it’s like till they’ve been through it. Everybody thinks they know what it’s like to have anxiety or depression but I’m not convinced they do.
It makes you feel low, so low you can’t feel nothing at all, it makes you never want to leave your bed because your not safe anywhere else, the world is big dark place and your only friend is anxiety or at least that’s what it makes you think. Your hungry but food? No thanks you’ll pass, your hungry but you don’t want to eat you must be ill? All those comments go through your head “you must be ill, you must be ill” I must be ill you start to tell yourself.
Motivation? What is that? You have none. The only thing that appeals to you is to bury yourself in bed, what else is there to do for a person who’s only friend is anxiety. Depression makes it worse lying in your bed with all those thoughts in your head, making yourself feel worse and worse. Your numb and your so used to the pain, you wonder what’s it like to be happy? The only way to feel something is to hurt yourself, over and over again. Are you feeling something now? Does it make you feel better? Are you proud of yourself? All of that going round in your mind and your only answer is no, your not proud of yourself but your so used to the pain in your heart and the sadness, you feel nothing your empty, it’s the only thing to make you feel alive. You want to feel alive right? Hmm maybe not because being alive what’s the point? Everyday the same old day, wake up late stay in bed, don’t move, can’t move, there’s no tears anymore just stare at a blank wall till you fall asleep then repeat and one day if you do force yourself to get up it’s a struggle, everything is so hard and makes you tired, your weak, you can’t carry on so you go back to bed. You wonder what is the point in life? What’s so good about it? When you lay in bed all you can think about is the dark, While depression is making you not afraid of the dark anxiety is reminding you why you should be. The darkness is your friend it comforts you while you sleep or that’s what you think, anxiety keeps telling you all the reasons you should be afraid and how you shouldn’t like it in the dark. Youre not safe. Not being safe means you worry and when you worry you overthink and what do you have to go and do have a panic attack, pull yourself together they say, is it really as easy as that? Why can’t you do it? Is it cause your not good enough? You’re not good enough, you start to think why aren’t you good enough? What’s so wrong with you? Here we are again overthinking, putting yourself down let me guess you’re tired again, time to go to bed.
Copyright © Hollie Moore | Year Posted 2025
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Hollie Moore Poem
The lonely
As I sit there in my room all alone,
All I can think about is the emptiness I feel,
Nobody to talk to,
Nobody to see.
Everyday is the same old day,
On my own,
Going over the same things.
It makes me feel so empty but someone how the depression makes me feel so much.
It tricks me,
Makes me believe it’s here to comfort me,
Here to be my friend.
My one and only friend.
I let depression in, maybe he will take away the loneliness.
He doesn’t.
He tears me down more,
Eats away at my thoughts,
Taking all he wants from me.
I am vulnerable to depression but still I let him in more.
He tricks me,
Plays mind games.
But I like games don’t I?
Games are fun,
If I play these games I will have a friend.
But what I don’t realise is depression isn’t a true friend and leaves you back in the dark all alone.
Nobody to talk to,
Nobody to be with,
Just you and the lonely.
Copyright © Hollie Moore | Year Posted 2025
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