Anxiety and depression

Anxiety and depression Everyone can only imagine what something feels like, they never know what it’s like till they’ve been through it. Everybody thinks they know what it’s like to have anxiety or depression but I’m not convinced they do. It makes you feel low, so low you can’t feel nothing at all, it makes you never want to leave your bed because your not safe anywhere else, the world is big dark place and your only friend is anxiety or at least that’s what it makes you think. Your hungry but food? No thanks you’ll pass, your hungry but you don’t want to eat you must be ill? All those comments go through your head “you must be ill, you must be ill” I must be ill you start to tell yourself. Motivation? What is that? You have none. The only thing that appeals to you is to bury yourself in bed, what else is there to do for a person who’s only friend is anxiety. Depression makes it worse lying in your bed with all those thoughts in your head, making yourself feel worse and worse. Your numb and your so used to the pain, you wonder what’s it like to be happy? The only way to feel something is to hurt yourself, over and over again. Are you feeling something now? Does it make you feel better? Are you proud of yourself? All of that going round in your mind and your only answer is no, your not proud of yourself but your so used to the pain in your heart and the sadness, you feel nothing your empty, it’s the only thing to make you feel alive. You want to feel alive right? Hmm maybe not because being alive what’s the point? Everyday the same old day, wake up late stay in bed, don’t move, can’t move, there’s no tears anymore just stare at a blank wall till you fall asleep then repeat and one day if you do force yourself to get up it’s a struggle, everything is so hard and makes you tired, your weak, you can’t carry on so you go back to bed. You wonder what is the point in life? What’s so good about it? When you lay in bed all you can think about is the dark, While depression is making you not afraid of the dark anxiety is reminding you why you should be. The darkness is your friend it comforts you while you sleep or that’s what you think, anxiety keeps telling you all the reasons you should be afraid and how you shouldn’t like it in the dark. Youre not safe. Not being safe means you worry and when you worry you overthink and what do you have to go and do have a panic attack, pull yourself together they say, is it really as easy as that? Why can’t you do it? Is it cause your not good enough? You’re not good enough, you start to think why aren’t you good enough? What’s so wrong with you? Here we are again overthinking, putting yourself down let me guess you’re tired again, time to go to bed.