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Best Poems Written by Ava Siomou

Below are the all-time best Ava Siomou poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Ava Siomou Poem

Regretting

please don’t love me
i’m such a damned mess, darling
i feel like a slob in all of my forms
physically, emotionally, spiritually
my mind hates my body
my mind hates itself
it twists the people i love into monsters
i’m scared that if you love me i’ll love you back
and i’ll make you into a monster
when all you are is open arms and a smile
i don’t want to get to know you
i don’t want my mind to emphasize your imperfections
and scrutinize every small detail when it suddenly feels like loving is a mistake
my love works in waves
it isn’t fair to you, to be loved by me
i’m not a true lover
i’m not forgiving or understanding or kind
i get impatient and rash and angry and mean
it’s all crooked
i’m so sorry
for the pains i know i’ve caused you
each day, i pass between the walls of loving you fully and regretting each interaction we have
it isn’t fair
it can’t be sane
perhaps this is a sign of something bad
for myself or for us

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Bodies

wrap me in your satin skin
    whisper your wishes to me
allow my body the divinity of your touch
    i will make them all come true

please,
           i beg of you,
                             curse me with your lips
  come down
bring yourself to me

you make it too easy to melt

                         your hands 

                                      electrifying 
i want you everywhere 
     all the time 
                                                      it’s bliss

in the backseat, in bed, on the counter,

   you make me forget about making sense

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Anew

it feels deeply disingenuous,
      making plans with a person you know you don’t truly want to share a future with

perhaps i’m more selfish than i let on
    perhaps i’m not as truthful as i thought

       how does someone go about ending things

                        there is so much of me in your life

            my room is full of evidence
that you’ve been here, 
                                                                  in my life,                             
                                                                    my bed,
                                                             inside of me
i will to paint over you in my walls
        and wash you from my sheets
                         i will repeat my name to myself
              until it is mine again
              until my skin is mine again

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To Noise

you drape an arm over me,

                      busying the other with your phone

its screen is hurting my eyes and your chin is hurting my ribs, but i don’t say that

      i don’t say a thing

           it’s too late, i say 

             i don’t want to disturb you

                i can’t handle another fight today

                   

                                                my mouth is closed

           i want to scream 

    i want to make a noise

that you won’t be able to pick apart and refute

        i want to tell you that i’m unhappy,

            that i want out 

               that i want to make it all stop

        all the fights, all the tension in my chest,

    all the arguments i lose

                           i want it to be gone;

                                   for us to be okay again,

for your jokes to make me smile 

           and your lips to make me weak



i don’t want silence

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A Reminder

amidst cycles of creation and destruction
of peace and disarray
i must remind myself of where i stand
it’s okay to spiral, it’s human
but i need to take a step back before i make any harmful decisions
feeling is temporary
the pain, the anger, the anxiety
they will pass
good will come again

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A Spiral

i want to tear my body into ribbons 
and watch myself cascade down onto the floor
i cannot keep reforming myself just to fall apart again
efforts to maintain a stasis in composure are wasted on this anxiety-ridden mind
my legs are still writhing in pain
my chest hasn’t ceased its tightening
i don’t understand it
i can’t keep this up
i don’t know if i’m cut out for anything
it’s all so much right now
too much

Details | Ava Siomou Poem

Air

feeling like it’s worth it has gotten harder

each of my lines feels muddled



      love is sacrifice

 my father says

                               my father loved a woman who hit him and his children



i recognize that i can find a love that i deserve

                              it exists outside of you,

  elsewhere in the world 



i feel such a deep grief for us,

    for what we’ve become together 

         i want it to live

              i want to help it breathe



       my lungs are swollen and bruised