Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
please don’t love me
i’m such a damned mess, darling
i feel like a slob in all of my forms
physically, emotionally, spiritually
my mind hates my body
my mind hates itself
it twists the people i love into monsters
i’m scared that if you love me i’ll love you back
and i’ll make you into a monster
when all you are is open arms and a smile
i don’t want to get to know you
i don’t want my mind to emphasize your imperfections
and scrutinize every small detail when it suddenly feels like loving is a mistake
my love works in waves
it isn’t fair to you, to be loved by me
i’m not a true lover
i’m not forgiving or understanding or kind
i get impatient and rash and angry and mean
it’s all crooked
i’m so sorry
for the pains i know i’ve caused you
each day, i pass between the walls of loving you fully and regretting each interaction we have
it isn’t fair
it can’t be sane
perhaps this is a sign of something bad
for myself or for us
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
wrap me in your satin skin
whisper your wishes to me
allow my body the divinity of your touch
i will make them all come true
please,
i beg of you,
curse me with your lips
come down
bring yourself to me
you make it too easy to melt
your hands
electrifying
i want you everywhere
all the time
it’s bliss
in the backseat, in bed, on the counter,
you make me forget about making sense
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
it feels deeply disingenuous,
making plans with a person you know you don’t truly want to share a future with
perhaps i’m more selfish than i let on
perhaps i’m not as truthful as i thought
how does someone go about ending things
there is so much of me in your life
my room is full of evidence
that you’ve been here,
in my life,
my bed,
inside of me
i will to paint over you in my walls
and wash you from my sheets
i will repeat my name to myself
until it is mine again
until my skin is mine again
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
you drape an arm over me,
busying the other with your phone
its screen is hurting my eyes and your chin is hurting my ribs, but i don’t say that
i don’t say a thing
it’s too late, i say
i don’t want to disturb you
i can’t handle another fight today
my mouth is closed
i want to scream
i want to make a noise
that you won’t be able to pick apart and refute
i want to tell you that i’m unhappy,
that i want out
that i want to make it all stop
all the fights, all the tension in my chest,
all the arguments i lose
i want it to be gone;
for us to be okay again,
for your jokes to make me smile
and your lips to make me weak
i don’t want silence
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
amidst cycles of creation and destruction
of peace and disarray
i must remind myself of where i stand
it’s okay to spiral, it’s human
but i need to take a step back before i make any harmful decisions
feeling is temporary
the pain, the anger, the anxiety
they will pass
good will come again
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
i want to tear my body into ribbons
and watch myself cascade down onto the floor
i cannot keep reforming myself just to fall apart again
efforts to maintain a stasis in composure are wasted on this anxiety-ridden mind
my legs are still writhing in pain
my chest hasn’t ceased its tightening
i don’t understand it
i can’t keep this up
i don’t know if i’m cut out for anything
it’s all so much right now
too much
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|
Details |
Ava Siomou Poem
feeling like it’s worth it has gotten harder
each of my lines feels muddled
love is sacrifice
my father says
my father loved a woman who hit him and his children
i recognize that i can find a love that i deserve
it exists outside of you,
elsewhere in the world
i feel such a deep grief for us,
for what we’ve become together
i want it to live
i want to help it breathe
my lungs are swollen and bruised
Copyright © Ava Siomou | Year Posted 2023
|