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Best Poems Written by Benjamin Mui

Below are the all-time best Benjamin Mui poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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The Sum

The Sum
By Benjamin Mui

I am not a failure			Nor am I a success
I am not my rejections			Nor am I my acceptances
I am not worthless			Nor am I special
I am not my weakness			Nor am I my strength
I am not a loss				Nor am I a triumph
	            I am the sum of Nothing
Neither the bad			Nor the good
Not who was				Nor whoever is to come
		     I am what is Now
	            I am who I choose to be
		      I am my actions
		 	   … 

			  I am

Details | Benjamin Mui Poem

Sometimes

Sometimes
By Benjamin Mui

Sometimes
The silence can grow louder 
No
My heartbeat fills my head
The internal pounding resonating deeper
Now that everything has slowed down again
The flow of thoughts runs steadily on 
The rhythms matching closely to the early morning birds
Who failed to realize not everyone beats the sun out of bed
…wish I could talk with them


Sometimes
I hate myself
No
I hate the way I think
The way I have to fall out of love with love
The way I have to feel happy about being sad
The way I have nothing yet am losing everything
The more I think about it the more confusing it gets
…it can get tiring 

Sometimes
The world feels small
No
My world feels small 
Like there was an impassable void surrounding me
That forms and blips out of existence at random 
Like an uncontrollable shadow were cast over me
A flash flood of intense sadness and loneliness 
Realizing that it might “just be me”
…it’s gone now 
…it’ll come back later
…maybe I’ll write then

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One To Cry With

I have seen the breaking point…still waiting
I have reached the end of patience…with nothing
I have seen the world go ‘round…in absence

I want to be sad with you 
So you’ll know when I’m happy
I want to cry on your shoulder 
Melt into your body 
Feel your steady heartbeat 
Pumping life back into my eyes

I would let the intense greyness take over
Only for a moment so that you may glimpse 
Into this strange mind of mine
And I can tell you how tragic our feelings are
How I have doomed myself and us 
To such a painfully loving place

I would hate to see you with someone else
But I would still destroy myself to see you happy
As much as I hope and believe it won’t come to it
A part of me has already accepted the possibility 
That I could lose you…all of you
But I would have to tell you to know

If you had the choice between
Everything you wanted and everything I had to give
Could you settle?

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A Friend In My Thoughts As a Lover

Where hast thou gone off to
What starlit sky hast thine saddened eyes gazed upon
From whence might I be able to witness
Thy form twist around in wisps of stardust
And from thither create within mine own mind 
An image of thee whom I shall fail to live without

And yet I wonder if too slow mine thoughts were to reach thee
If within thine self exists the courage at all 
Ready to accept whatever consequence arises from the flames of passion
Fear that it may incinerate that which ere blossomed
From whence came the friendship that I dost hold dearest
I could bear not a universe without thy laugh or smile
For to lose thee is to lose myself

However to thou came nothing whom chose to lay down
Thus it would seem not preferable either 
To let go, thereby invalidating the many nights
Spent thinking…envisioning our intertwined flesh dancing in moonlight
Dreaming of a way to take thy hand in mine
To rediscover the feeling of safety and peace
A rift formed betwixt that which is necessary and that which must be true by meaning

Tis with sorrowful satisfaction to realize that 
Thy present dwelling in darkness obscure I can follow not
If it were so, a thanks to thee for breaking my heart
Thou art the center of my conviction and the deepest of my desires
I would put death onto myself as life a hundred times over 
Merely to find us tonight in endless embrace
And to never be parted in bliss or woe

Details | Benjamin Mui Poem

Have You Ever

Have you ever danced to the rhythm of life
The rise and the fall of your body on the bed
Counting the precise seconds between each breath
The way feet seem to always find a way to move forward
The way you might chase your heart racing away
And smile to yourself through lonely celebrations

Have you ever been born again
As if your eyes had their memory of the sun erased
A new life greeted by the reborn sun coming off the sea
Realizing how profoundly beautiful it all can be
Wondering how it was possible to miss something 
That was always there…but also not

Have you ever forgotten love
Knowing where you have been…how far you have fallen
Wondering if anyone would talk to you at 3AM again
And fantasizing how they would much rather stare straight into your eyes
Look at you as if you were only thing left on Earth
Making your hands shake from holding onto them so tightly

Have you ever dreamt about strangers
Somehow still waking up more and more devastated 
How it felt losing them felt so real and so fake at the same time
Is there really someone out there waiting to meet a person like me
Desperate enough to crack themselves open like an egg
Allowing their love to bleed out onto the street like yolk

Have you ever lost someone
Forced to let go of something you couldn’t afford to lose
Scared of the way you might drag them down with you
When they were the best thing you ever chanced upon
Wishing that they would have listened through the silence
Of that you could have seen through the smiles

No…
You’re not that ugly 
You’re not that stupid
You’re not that invisible
You’re not that unwanted
You’re still unbroken

Have you ever been human
Yes…
You have been and forever will be 
Just as I will hide these lines forever in your nightmares
So that each time you face your demons
You might think that someone cared about you

Details | Benjamin Mui Poem

Perhaps a Dream

Perhaps a Dream
By Benjamin Mui

Or was it all just a dream?
And I’ve finally woken up

To a wondrous morning glow
With a kite dancing in the wind
You and I running amongst the grass
Only to spin around and fall
Faces to the orange sky
I thought I gave you the best of me
Yet it never felt enough
If somehow I could take the wrists of time
And run back to the start of it all
Knowing how all things would end
I wouldn’t change a thing
Just so I could hold you again
In my arms one last time
Perhaps I was never in love
Merely in love with the idea of it
Feeling something much less
Tricking myself to be something more
Desperate to hold onto anything
Before dropping into the depths below

But I’m hoping that I’m just fast asleep
And when I wake up you’ll still be here

Details | Benjamin Mui Poem

Endings

End
Close
Conclusion 
Fin 

Black…

It’s too late now
The dogs are asleep now
Tears are unshed now 
Peace is gone now
You’re gone too now

Breathe 

Shaking violently 
Contorting beyond recognition
Bloodless cold
Soundless screams
Crooked broken smiles 

Focus 

Stop staring one-eyed ghost
Sprawled mutilated cat
It wasn’t me
I didn’t murder her 
Fingerless hands did 

Persist

It hurts deeply
I stabbed a child deeply
Piercing his heart deeply
Down in the deep black
I hurt me deeply

Do I live? 
I need to live to die 
I haven’t lived
So I won’t die 

Yet I live

I killed me 
Yet I live
I sleep forever
Yet I live
I’m gone from me 
Yet I live
I drown endlessly
Yet I live

Knocked over again
Do I continue?
Do I continue?
Do I continue?

Can I continue? 
Is it worth knowing my truth?
Is this my ending?
Blank?

Yes
No 
This is the beginning