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Best Poems Written by Michael Lee

Below are the all-time best Michael Lee poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

Details | Michael Lee Poem

When Batman's Gotta Pee

When Batman’s Gotta Pee


When Batman’s gotta pee,
That’s when it gets a bit tricky.
‘Cause when you’ve got on tights,
And you’re working through most nights,
FIghting crime and running ‘round,
Kinda hard when there’s no bathroom to be found.

So when Batman’s gotta really go,
But he’s busy battling his foes,
What he does to take care of his business is a mystery,
Must be even worse when it’s cold outside and blistery.

I’m guessing maybe his tights have a built in pair of Depends,
‘Cause Batman can’t be looking for a urinal when a city he must defend.
Or perhaps he just uses his cape to quickly fan and dry,
As he’s running and jumping, battling the bad guys.
Or maybe he’s got a bottle in his utility belt to use,
When his pee he’s about to loose.

Not quite sure just what Batman does,
But I’m planning to do an in depth analysis of,
How the caped crusader takes care of business on the run.
But I’m quite certain Batman’s bladder is super strong,
‘Cause it must be tough to hold it in that long.

Details | Michael Lee Poem

Cinderella New

Cinderella New

Well hello all my name is Cinderella and it’s true,
I do a lot of work for my mother and sister that’s just old news,
I’m getting calluses, cramps and tons of bruises,
Since my family thinks I’m a slave that they can abuse.

Well I think it’s time we have a sit down chat,
‘Cause this Cinderella New is no longer going for all that.
I don’t mean to cause a spat,
But I think some changes are long overdue in this habitat.

So you say there’s no way you’re going to change your tune,
That I’ve lost my mind ‘cause it’s a full moon.
Well let me just let you know,
I’ve got a few changes here that I may now show,
If  my ideas you try to veto.

So gonna put extra starch in when I wash your underwear.
Gonna bake some brownies with Ex-Lax for you so don’t despair.
Gonna put some Crazy glue into that gel you use for your hair.
Gonna put some cayenne pepper in the stew just on a dare.
Gonna find some  bedbugs to place in your sheets so you’d best take care.

Well that’s really all I have to say,
I think it’s time I have my way.
So don’t worry sisters and mom, you’ll be just fine,
Just don’t get me mad next time,
When you’re chicken soup tastes like turpentine.

Details | Michael Lee Poem

Hobbies

HOBBIES

We’ve all got hobbies that’s for sure.
Some like to catch fish with worms as a lure.
Some like to sail out on the sea so blue.
Some like to build model planes with paint and glue.
Some like to play or watch football on TV.
Some like to take photos of flowers and trees.
Some like to bake cookies and cakes.
Some like to waterski on big lakes.
Well my hobby is collecting bones for fun,
So a bone or two of yours I’d like to extract one by one.
You won’t miss it a bit I have no doubt.
You’ll just have to sit still while I’m taking them out.

Details | Michael Lee Poem

Valentine's Day Date

It’s the 14th of February
And I’m all by my lonesome self again.
Been searching on Tinder, Hinge and Bumble,
Hoping to find the love of my life, or even a special friend.
I’ve done speed dating, gone to all the local clubs and bars,
But all I get are “No thanks” or “I can only go out with guys with nice cars.”
Been hanging at Starbucks and the local bookstores too,
But it seems like the women all ignore my advances-
What’s a guy gotta do?
I’m working out at the gym five times a week
Hoping my physique will get the attention I seek.
But why when I go up to talk to the ladies,
Do they all seem to need to run to the bathroom a minute after I speak.
I’ve been writing poetry, reading books to have something interesting to say,
But can’t quite understand why the opposite sex won’t give me the time of day.
Well today is the day I’m really going to find a Valentine’s Day date,
Just gotta let my roommate (who’s my mom) know that I might be home a bit late.

Details | Michael Lee Poem

Working

Working

Don’t like working 
‘Cause it’s really such a bore.
Don’t like meeting deadlines,
‘Cause they’re really such a chore.
Don’t like attending meetings all day long,
Since you just sit and talk for hours in a stuffy, dark room.
Don’t like pitching in and helping others with their tasks,
When I could be outside smelling the spring flowers bloom.
Don’t like having a boss
Since they’re always nitpicking and in your face.
Don’t like following a dress code
And having to wear a tie and carry a briefcase.
Don’t like working overtime,
Since working past five I definitely deplore.
Don’t like dealing with people since they can be quite annoying,
Especially when they ask silly questions that I would  much prefer to ignore.
So now that my interview is over and I’ve had my say,
Do I start the job tomorrow or today?

Details | Michael Lee Poem

Springtime

Springtime


Springtime, springtime it’s in the air.
Gonna put on my shorts and sandals and visit the local state fair.
The flowers are all blooming and the breeze feels so nice.
Maybe I’ll take a stroll in the park and get a rainbow italian ice.
Just love seeing the baby rabbits and squirrels frolicking and having fun.
And it’s great being able to play tennis and volleyball all day in the sun.
But springtime, springtime isn’t all it's cut out to be.
‘Cause when walking through the grass and bushes you see,
I got a bad case of poison ivy on my legs and hiney.
Plus I got a thorn stuck in my big toe too.
Then  found someone’s old  bubble gum stuck to my sandal that they spit out after they chewed.
So I’m waiting for fall or winter season and hope my fortune will improve.
And until then, I’m just gonna lay on my couch all day and not move.

Details | Michael Lee Poem

My Friend Is a Donut

MY FRIEND IS A DONUT


My friend is a donut
He’s as sweet as can be.
He’s a bit on the obtuse side,
But that doesn’t matter to me.
He’s not a talker, doesn’t like chit chat.
But he’s very supportive even though I’m considered stocky or fat.
He’s not a show off, 
Doesn’t boast or curse at all.
And he’s definitely  got my back in any fight or brawl.
He’s really been here for me through good times and bad.
I guess you can say he’s the perfect comrad.
What’s even more special about my sugary friend you see.
Is that he’s a great snack when I’ve got the munchies.