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Best Poems Written by J-Lyn Matjila

Below are the all-time best J-Lyn Matjila poems as chosen by PoetrySoup members

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On this field

On this field
Is where I was born
And in these fields I will be buried they say

I watch my mom pick cotton 
For the white colony 
Her soft hands turned rough as the gravel road because of the work she has to do for her family
Her hands are so painful she cannot even cook for us
Work is what the call it
But Slavery is what it is

Dear God 

I am tired of seeing my mom feeling pain in every bone of her body
Day by day complaining about the hot sun that burns her and that no one really cares 
All they want to know us how much work she has done only to end up getting paid peanuts while having kids to feed

Dear God 

I know you created these fields but you did not create man to abuse any man in this world you created but still we face this suffering why God? 

On this field is where the white feel privilege to brag through our parents hard work
On these fields is where they get to feel power 

I guess that's Slavery
Watching my mom get beat down each time she tries to rest 
Or gets forced to sing a lousy song about the fields in the hot sun which gradually changes her skin tone 
It's bad but she does it

But now I know the kind of pain slavery comes with and with that I learned to become stronger because even if the try to break us they can't but they can only bend us

On these field is where I was born
In these fields is where I will be laid to rest

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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I opened the door and found all the wounds that I pretended that they did not hurt right in front of me
I had sealed the door with a lock and threw away the key in the ocean but it seems it  found a way to resurface even in all those waves
My life was a mess and I had shuttered pieces of my life that needed mending
But I was not ready 
As all the pieces worth mending where scattered all over the place

In trying to abide by my rules that controlled my morality on this earth and all living organisms, I found myself defaulting and replacing all hurt with what suited me

I asked myself this question
 Is it me or the rationality behind this current morality the way it is supposed to be introduced in my life? 

I couldn't answer but I know I left people with that wonder 
Look my life was in a tailspin and I was tired of living my life in limbo
Then I chose to live differently 

But wait... No. No.. No

I didn't disappear I traded 

I traded hatred for love 
I traded friends for family
I traded sadness for happiness
I gave hope a chance 

I released my fears and turned them into dreams. 
I remembered my goals and pushed them to reality 
I traded disassapointment and I got satisfaction 

My life took a drastic change 
Even though the shutters in my life tried to consume me I was too much of full cup and not willing to reduce the volume of passion I had for how I saw my life

The chapter that was there was coming to an end though the book was far from being done but the pages I passed had left with my past and the next page was how I saw my future

As I opened the door I found all wounds to not hurt anymore because the pieces that where shuttered  where coming together to be mended and my pain was slowly fading away leaving a hole for something greater

As I sat there staring at the opened door 
I asked myself this question
 Is it me or the rationality behind this current morality the way it is supposed to be introduced in my life? 

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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Even when it hurt

Even when it hurts

I picked myself up
From this broken heart I felt
I tried to hurt you back but your heart was already torn into pieces
I couldn’t do any more damage.

I knelt down before you to beg you for compassion
I texted many times trying to reach out to you
But you pushed me away
Hurt like that I picked myself up.

I tried to put my hands around your waist
But the emotionlessness I got made my warm body feel the sudden wariness
My heart desired to be with you
But yours pushed me away.

I hurt you I know, I invaded what you thought was your privacy
I am sorry, so sorry, but you couldn’t see how sorry I was,
 you chose to see your side only.
You got angry because of your own infidelities
Then your uncertainties about yourself made you to think the same about me
I pulled your hand trying to get you to explain
You turned away and treated me like a stranger
If only we could be strangers again.

Even when it hurt I still longed and prayed for you
Even when it hurt I still remembered the good times
The finest days of my life were when I was with you.

Where time never mattered, where your eyes showed more love like never experienced
Time stood still with you, we had no obligation to make sense of what we had
But together we knew we made sense.
You did not tear me down but we tore down together
Even when it hurt, I knew what my heart felt.

“Take my hand to explain what happened,” I said
Angry as you knew I would get, we managed to return to our own
We knelt down and prayed, and forgiveness was certain
And still we remained strong.
But now we don’t even talk any more but you question me with thousands of things
Which sometimes don’t even make sense.

I am not perfect and neither are you
But our imperfections made us grow.
If I am not what you wanted then I am humbly sorry
Even if it hurts peace will be restored in my life
Even if it hurts I will keep on being joyful
Even if it hurts eventually the music and smiles will be back in my life
Even when it hurts the strength I once had shall rise.
I know it will hurt but I will arise in hope again
Lost I will no more be, found in myself I will remain

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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Street sign

Street sign

A walk through life
Is a wake up call to reality 
I walked many paths 
Most of them without any direction 
But still I walked

Even when life got me down 
I Always remembered to crawl till I was ready to get back up again, but I realized
I was living in the crossroads without direction 

I hit many hardships and struggles 
But the voice inside of my head always  tried to give me direction 
Even at the crossroads where the street signs were not clear 
That voice inside of me set me on the right path 

You see life is book filled with empty pages waiting for you to fill them in
It's a pity we have no eraser for things which have passed but we can make the future more delightful and turn in into a proper direction like those street signs showing us the right way to go

I became a fighter for the truth and what is right and through that I regained my true identity 
The cross roads had disappeared and the street signs became clear
For then first time my life had light 

A walk through life 
Woke up my reality 
The many paths I walked
Now have direction 
And through that I will keep on
Because my destiny still awaits

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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I found God

I found God

 I was lost, alone, and hurt
But never forgotten.
I cried tears of pain and tried to reach out, but everyone seemed so far from me.
I walked lonely paths, I clambered the highest mountains without any direction
I tried to reach out and found myself crying, but still everyone seemed to be far from me.

I fell to the ground and found myself on my knees. 
And it was on my knees
That I heard a voice inside my head.
It whispered, “I am for you and I am with you.”
It made no sense to me, but as I was down on my knees my heart started to speak, 
I could not control what it was saying, though it was prevailing.

As I was on my knees the voice appeared again.
The same voice said, “I hear you my child.”
I listened further, and noticed the peace which flowed through my body and soul, 
 All that was happening while I was on my knees.
My tears started to dry up like a fish pond during a drought
 Suddenly I knew who I had to reach out to at all times.

I called upon His name and said, “I accept and trust in you.”
In that moment I found I had a path to lead me and someone to reach out to
And did not need approval from anyone. 
In that exact moment I learnt I had found God.
I had found divinity.
I had found my true hidden place.

In that moment I learnt
I had found my home and finally the one who accepted me the way I am.
I knew then I had found harmony and would forever have a true resting place.

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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without you

Without you

Without you I found myself wondering like a lost soul in the universe
What have I done? What did I do?
I became an instant attorney trying to interrogate myself
Please talk to me, I begged you.
Those questions ran through my mind a thousand times like a scholar trying to figure out the solution for solving x
I woke up thinking it was all a dream
I had hoped it was only in my head
Love was no more
I had to learn to be alone.

I had to instil the word goodbye deep inside my head, but it was not easy
I had thought we would be together for eternity
I had hoped we would grow old together
But I guess we had different ideas of what we perceived as love.
Where did you go? I asked
I mean the true you
The person whom I knew before, where did he go?

We had our virtuous times, and made noise in the garden like the sound left by birds in the silent morning
We shared more than memories
But for now it's time to say goodbye or maybe should I say see you later.
Don't forget about me
Because I sure will remember you
I just need to know
That you will not forget me, and the times we shared
For now it's OK, for now it's time, time to say goodbye.

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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between the sheets

I caught your eyes staring
And I wondered why you were so daring
I pictured you in a scenario 
Where you and I were reciting a story
a story that had no ending

I came back to reality
And I realized I was dreaming
I smiled because I wanted us to meet
at least talk we can explore this maturity

I walked towards you thinking I would be able to talk
but my mouth became silent as the thief in the night
I got so tongue tied I couldn't even say hi
what a bum I thought..

lol you looked at me and smiled 
oh hi beautiful you said
I instantly lost all insecurities
because your assured me security
I got held captive by your words
but I did not mind the sentence I had to serve
as long as I got to hear voice

even between the sheets we shared 
you still gave me my share
above all things that seems to be there
I managed to take your dare

I fell in love I know it was not fair
but I could not help it otherwise I would have been left in a tear
I became hostage to my feelings'
and the ransom was your heart
I followed my flair so I could get some air

I swear this was never the plan
but everything switched gear 
and now we have to bare

in between the sheets is where we found our story
in between these sheets is where we learned to be
in between these sheets is where I would like to remain

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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A dreadful night

A dreadful night

She was like a flower, always blooming
Even when the sunshine was out of reach,
She was able to turn a dark room into light with her fair complexion.
She carried the most precious smile
That when she did smile even the coldest of hearts would melt.
Her eyes were full of sparkle like the stars we see on a clear night.

Until that one moment
All of that was changed in an instant.
A figure took all that away, her bright eyes were left with tears,
Her fair complexion was filled with darkness, redness, and scared.
His fist had done that to her, her smile was no more,
Her mouth was swollen because of the number of times his fist had touched it.
Her body was turned into a punching bag.

She tried to run, but the barriers of his body did not allow her to,
His powerful body would push her to the ground,
She would fall in an instant, bruised as she was, she would try to pick herself up.
After a long night of torture and pain
She would take her make-up and try to cover up.
He would come back with flowers to apologize.

A woman beaten, tortured, bruised
She would stay because she thought it was love,
Not knowing that deep down the anger was building up.
One day he came home as usual with his anger
And remembered he had a punching bag on which to take out his frustrations.
That one day he found something different,
She was ready to stand up and fight. 
She picked up a knife as he tried to attack, 
He felt a sharp sting in his heart,
She had put a stop to her misery, 
And she knew life would never be the same.

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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Oh my Lord

Oh my Lord!

Lord, I come to you with open arms
Open arms that thank you,
I nearly died but because of your unfailing love I was saved.

I remember the shivers I felt before the experience,
I popped open a bottle of Tequila mixed with a variety of pills thinking it was the answer to my problems.
Lord, I felt your love was far from me and all I wanted was to leave the pain I felt in this world.

My heart was in this excruciating pain, like I was being stabbed with a knife, 
Oh Lord, how I wanted to leave this world.
I drank two full bottles of pills and downed it with half a bottle of Tequila thinking this was the end.

I took a page out of a book and with a pen was able to write “Dear”,
Dear who I was not sure whom the letter should be addressed to.
I saw a tear on the paper, was not sure when I had begun to cry,
I dropped the pen...with nothing written on the page except “Dear.”

I slowly felt my arms slipping into unconsciousness and my eyes became heavy, 
Oh Lord, I was in pain and felt relieved that it was finally ending.
But Lord you intervened and held my hand, oh how I had forgotten the warmth and comfort you had.

Oh Lord, how thankful I became when you told me all would be OK.
 I said a little prayer “Lord, I come to you with open arms”, every pain I had disappeared like it was never there.
I was healed and more alive than ever.

How I nearly died, but got saved in the process.

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019

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A dreadful morning

A dreadful morning

He never thought it was goodbye until it happened,
An ordinary day it was, filled with the joys of a new day,
The world was in harmony and the sound of the birds made it more peaceful.

She awoke as usual as she normally did,
Extra cheerful she felt that day,
An amazing day she had in mind.
She took an extra hot bath and applied her favorite lotion. Perfume was not needed as her scent was more powerful than any fragrance could offer.

Excited she became as she left the house,
Goodbye to all she waved as she got into her favorite SUV, 
The gate slightly opened behind her and as she reversed a loud bang broke the peaceful morning.

Her body became cold in an instant,
Her bright eyes were shut tight by the hand of her husband, 
The tears he shed fell slowly on to his wife’s body.
She was no more.
He never thought the morning goodbye would be the last of it all,
But the will of God had taken over.
He stood in hurt with his family next to him,
But forever he knew his wife would love and guide them,
And in his heart she will forever remain.

Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019