Shutters of My Life
I opened the door and found all the wounds that I pretended that they did not hurt right in front of me
I had sealed the door with a lock and threw away the key in the ocean but it seems it found a way to resurface even in all those waves
My life was a mess and I had shuttered pieces of my life that needed mending
But I was not ready
As all the pieces worth mending where scattered all over the place
In trying to abide by my rules that controlled my morality on this earth and all living organisms, I found myself defaulting and replacing all hurt with what suited me
I asked myself this question
Is it me or the rationality behind this current morality the way it is supposed to be introduced in my life?
I couldn't answer but I know I left people with that wonder
Look my life was in a tailspin and I was tired of living my life in limbo
Then I chose to live differently
But wait... No. No.. No
I didn't disappear I traded
I traded hatred for love
I traded friends for family
I traded sadness for happiness
I gave hope a chance
I released my fears and turned them into dreams.
I remembered my goals and pushed them to reality
I traded disassapointment and I got satisfaction
My life took a drastic change
Even though the shutters in my life tried to consume me I was too much of full cup and not willing to reduce the volume of passion I had for how I saw my life
The chapter that was there was coming to an end though the book was far from being done but the pages I passed had left with my past and the next page was how I saw my future
As I opened the door I found all wounds to not hurt anymore because the pieces that where shuttered where coming together to be mended and my pain was slowly fading away leaving a hole for something greater
As I sat there staring at the opened door
I asked myself this question
Is it me or the rationality behind this current morality the way it is supposed to be introduced in my life?
Copyright © J-Lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019
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