Even when it hurt
Even when it hurts
I picked myself up
From this broken heart I felt
I tried to hurt you back but your heart was already torn into pieces
I couldn’t do any more damage.
I knelt down before you to beg you for compassion
I texted many times trying to reach out to you
But you pushed me away
Hurt like that I picked myself up.
I tried to put my hands around your waist
But the emotionlessness I got made my warm body feel the sudden wariness
My heart desired to be with you
But yours pushed me away.
I hurt you I know, I invaded what you thought was your privacy
I am sorry, so sorry, but you couldn’t see how sorry I was,
you chose to see your side only.
You got angry because of your own infidelities
Then your uncertainties about yourself made you to think the same about me
I pulled your hand trying to get you to explain
You turned away and treated me like a stranger
If only we could be strangers again.
Even when it hurt I still longed and prayed for you
Even when it hurt I still remembered the good times
The finest days of my life were when I was with you.
Where time never mattered, where your eyes showed more love like never experienced
Time stood still with you, we had no obligation to make sense of what we had
But together we knew we made sense.
You did not tear me down but we tore down together
Even when it hurt, I knew what my heart felt.
“Take my hand to explain what happened,” I said
Angry as you knew I would get, we managed to return to our own
We knelt down and prayed, and forgiveness was certain
And still we remained strong.
But now we don’t even talk any more but you question me with thousands of things
Which sometimes don’t even make sense.
I am not perfect and neither are you
But our imperfections made us grow.
If I am not what you wanted then I am humbly sorry
Even if it hurts peace will be restored in my life
Even if it hurts I will keep on being joyful
Even if it hurts eventually the music and smiles will be back in my life
Even when it hurts the strength I once had shall rise.
I know it will hurt but I will arise in hope again
Lost I will no more be, found in myself I will remain
Copyright © J-lyn Matjila | Year Posted 2019
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