Confessions of Childlike Broken Spirit

I confess that as a child the ruthless caused me crippling pain with deeply wounding words and bodily attacks that led me to falter through life. I confess that various family member’s inflicted incessant cruel criticisms that wholly damaged my character leaving a soul shattered in shame! I confess that all of these hypercritical people painted me with a dark psyche and their evil assumptions resulted in an imprisoned stigma. I confess that during childhood the intolerant labels of shy, odd and withdrawn caused me to be ostracized while living in utter humiliation. I confess that I pray every day to be set free from the shackles they’ve built all around me, leading to my many missteps for which I beg for compassion. I confess that in elementary school, my hands were hit until they bled for laughing. Then my father punched me in the face for laughing destroying any possibility of joy. I confess to having fast and frequent flashes of the details of the horrors committed against me causing doubt of whether I blacked out during the worst of it. I confess to being stuck in my adolescence probably between 6 and 12 yrs. old and can’t remove myself from that timeline, so, I plead, how do I move on? I confess that I’m a contrite and lowly spirit, with innate hopes as a child of God that His eyes will only see a gentle and broken spirit. I confess that my brokenness is impossible to mend due to the atrocities inflicted. I tried to be silent for so long drowning in unspeakable hurt. I confess to never evolving as an adult due to severe childhood trauma, and as such, it is necessary to speak to me as if I were a Child! I confess to praying most urgently for the wicked to cease from inflicting unbearable anguish on God’s frail ones according His Word: “Whoever causes one of these little ones who believe in me to sin, it would be better for him if a great millstone were hung around his neck and he were thrown into the sea.” Mark 9:42.