Diane Perna Poet Free verse

In Shame

IN SHAME

When I was a little girl father brutally beat me down with such severity, and humiliation, causing me to hang my head down low in unimaginable shame.

When you saw me in public, I was so intensely misunderstood defeated and defaced; but you only looked at my shameful head down, never bothering to try empathy.

When you didn’t ask what was wrong, I felt absolute aloneness in that I could not recount the horrific details of my life without feelings of devastating loss and unworthiness; it was safer to keep my head down.

Still, today, I consider myself a mere passing shadow, meaningless to this earth, so I remain head down with the deepest shame yet, as I breathe in poison that may cause my demise.

After all the battles I fought and survived, I fear this one is my last with head down praying for God’s mercy, forgiveness and His rescue so that I will not perish in this ill-fated manner.

I implore God not to see me with grave disappointment but to graciously pardon me, and though I still cannot raise my head without shame, nonetheless, He will raise me up to the Heavens.

Finally, I remain tragically sorry for my failure to break free of this tormenting mental anguish, however, I beseech GOD and All of you to see my courage and not my failings but instead be proud of me that I fought this long, lastly I plead that you always Remember My Lonely Wounded, but Loving Heart…

	I, remain, Sincerely Yours, Diane Perna

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Paul Bell March 22, 2024 at 8:19 AM Always amazes me why kids hold onto the Burdon of the parent, blaming themselves for their inadequacies. You should hold your head high, you did nothing wrong.

Sarah Stein November 16, 2021 at 8:58 AM Wow. I felt your pain. My heart goes out to you. There are moments where I feel the same.

Stanley Dorsey April 2, 2021 at 2:17 PM I really felt the agony in this poetic piece. Can one really exist in such a state? Not knowing if this is nonfiction remember you're not alone. Nothing is normal anymore that even shame can reach pillars of pride.

Ann Peck April 2, 2021 at 1:03 PM Diane, This is such a strong poem. Please think of yourself, not with shame, but as a survivor. You are brave to open your wounds to the world. The best to you.

Garima Dubey March 31, 2021 at 1:32 PM I can only imagine you as a brave beautiful women who is ready to open her scars to the world.Child abuse is no joke and many kids suffer due to this .You are an inspiration ,keep writing.All the very best.

Quoth Theraven March 14, 2021 at 9:51 AM Diane, I read this poem today. Because there was someone to write it. Someone to live it. After all, someone had to. And it was you. I like this poem not for the happiness it shares, but for the survivor's message, 'hold on'. -Richard

Ann Foster September 19, 2019 at 6:42 PM the "shame is not yours"... Hugs... write more... Ann

Ann Foster September 19, 2019 at 6:41 PM You are prayed for my friend. Let nothing ever hurt you again. Jesus surround you and send his angels... Flowers of many colors, lines up on the walkway... Your value...immeasurable... by any standard known... His miracle... His hand... I loved your poem. I pray it is not true. Yet if it is, sadly, emotionally, powerfully written, hugs to you, you are not alone.

Kelli White August 13, 2019 at 10:00 AM God bless you and protect your injured soul. It’s takes a weak man to injure children and animals. But it takes a strong soul to break out and away from this pain and survive. Kelli Diane Perna August 13, 2019 at 7:04 PM Thank you so very much for your kind words, it mean a lot to me. I love your work too.