In Shame

IN SHAME When I was a little girl father brutally beat me down with such severity, and humiliation, causing me to hang my head down low in unimaginable shame. When you saw me in public, I was so intensely misunderstood defeated and defaced; but you only looked at my shameful head down, never bothering to try empathy. When you didn’t ask what was wrong, I felt absolute aloneness in that I could not recount the horrific details of my life without feelings of devastating loss and unworthiness; it was safer to keep my head down. Still, today, I consider myself a mere passing shadow, meaningless to this earth, so I remain head down with the deepest shame yet, as I breathe in poison that may cause my demise. After all the battles I fought and survived, I fear this one is my last with head down praying for God’s mercy, forgiveness and His rescue so that I will not perish in this ill-fated manner. I implore God not to see me with grave disappointment but to graciously pardon me, and though I still cannot raise my head without shame, nonetheless, He will raise me up to the Heavens. Finally, I remain tragically sorry for my failure to break free of this tormenting mental anguish, however, I beseech GOD and All of you to see my courage and not my failings but instead be proud of me that I fought this long, lastly I plead that you always Remember My Lonely Wounded, but Loving Heart… I, remain, Sincerely Yours, Diane Perna