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Julie Stephenson Poem
Though I've begged and I've pleaded,
Not wanted, but needed
A little help, a little hope,
Not this endless, mindless choke
Untraditional love at it's best
And I fear I know the rest
The butterflies long gone, the kisses so few
This goodbye seems almost so long overdo
Though it hurts, though I'm scared
I'm missing what's so rare
I'm really missing you
Or the one that I knew
We have lost and I can't try
To finish making it all right
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2007
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I try not to do it, but still I pick up the phone
Then I dial the number I've known far too long
And though it hurts to do it, I wait to hear the voice
That never really answers, and I forget I had the choice
Of course he knows who's calling, but he already forgot to care
About everything he ever said, and everything we shared
So I fell too hard this time, but really didn't I know
When I said it was over, he'd so easily let me go
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I'm in a messed up kind of mood and it was one of
those days
Where I realize that I have no luck but in all the
worst ways
The husband that's never home, and the inlaws that
always are
What is family anyway, just people who will scar
It goes back to childhood really, I always just
came last
What am I really saying, that it goes back to my
past
But the truth of the matter is, I wasn't well liked
anyway
Always the second best and not first asked to play
Such a young age when I put the wall on my heart
Because of childhood lost and the family torn apart
Never wanting to learn, and not trying to succeed
But I played a good role at pretending to be happy
Just going day to day, living a crazy life
With every passing second just thinking I would die
All these bad things seemed to happen and I seemed to
only cry
Like I was born with too many feelings, and I had to
wonder why
Always seeming to suffer, and it gets so hard to live
Because the feelings that are lost, it makes me scared
to give
Maybe someone will notice, maybe they will see
That there really are some good pieces of me
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I love you, you said
So we didn't get out of bed
Marry me you said
And it went straight to my head
Funny I thought how the words were true
Silly of me to really love you
A game that you played
And oh, I would have stayed
To hurt and to cry
Only every night
But I didn't know love
Wasn't really supposed to hurt
I didn't know you
And that is more true
But I made a life inside
And lived with it not being so right
And when you told me to leave
You cried in my arms, I begged you please
Don't let me go,
From the only thing i did know
But you made me face the world alone
With a new baby in my arms
And I didn't know why
All the times you would spy
Wanting us from afar
But not giving us your heart
And now I've moved on, yet here you are
I have to say he's my shining star
Where have you been, I no longer care
Of dreams lost and memories shared
I still don't know you, I can laugh in your face
And love the one who has taken your place
So go away, it's been years too late
Who are you to mess with my fate
Who are you to say where is my son
Is he smart, is he funny, is he the one
To make it to the top of every mountain
Every limb, tell me all about him
And I say oh, yes, all of the above
But it wasn't you that showed him all the love
Where were you the nights he cried
From fevers, sick, up all night
When he laughed, when he fell
Learned to count, and broke out of his shell
It was someone that stepped on your plate
Someone who will stay up late
If he needs to talk, can't sleep
Helps with the homework, helps him believe
He is all that he is, and only more
Shows him options, and to open every door
Of life, of love, of hope, of trust
So sit back and watch if you must
But don't say you're sorry, don't say you're wrong
That it should've been you all along
Because I made it happen I make us see
There is no other, no one like him or like me
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2007
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Julie Stephenson Poem
Last night I forgot to love you, and you weren't
in my dreams
I didn't feel your arms around me, as funny as
it seems
Last night I forgot to miss you, and my heart
felt just fine
I didn't want to hear your voice, since you are
no longer mine
Last night I forgot your smile, and the funny things
you used to do
I didn't have to pretend to be happy, since I know
longer love you
Last night I forgot how good it felt just to have
you there
I didn't have to think of the times I knew you'd
always care
Last night I forgot you had my heart at one time,
even if no one ever knew
I didn't want to believe I could hurt, since there is
no me and you
Because I didn't want to remember you told me we should
just be friends
I didn't act like pain absorbed me, though I wonder
if my heart will ever mend
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
He says he loves me only when he's had too much to drink
But he kisses in such a way that my mind forgets to think
I forget all the pretty faces he's ever know before
Even the one yesterday he hid behind closed doors
He doesn't have to know I'm in on his little game
Cause when I'm in his arms, I know nothing about shame
He says that it hurts if my body is not near
But then could it be so easy for him to not give his
love to share
Maybe I can have more, but I only want his lips on my skin
If I could have it all, I'd only ask for him
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I hear a knock on the window, yet there's no one there
Knocking, steady knocking, and it gets so hard to bear
And sometimes there is nothing, til I feel a gust of wind
Ever subtle, ever slightly, but I know from deep within
You are still here, even if it's only when I close my eyes
You will join me in my dreams, even if I wake up to my cries
And I hope against hope there's really a heaven for all
And I pray for the soul of the girl who did fall
My own hurt is something that may never be filled
Dying inside cause I miss you still
If I could go back, I'd tell you the friend that you were
The best of the best, now it's all a blur
I can't help but think of what is our end
Getting so hard to try and pretend
That you are still here, soon you will call
And this is a bad dream that never happened at all
Though I know in my heart this could never be true
I hope when I hear the knock on my window it's you
Reaching out somehow from somewhere above
Still remembering the friendship, the memories, the love
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2006
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Julie Stephenson Poem
So here I sit, at night, alone
Bored and just too many cigarettes to burn
So I smoke and I wait, seemingly for a call
And really just ache, cause it's not coming at all
You're too many miles away from home
I feel the distance at night, alone
I hate you for the restless nights
And I hate me because I know it's not right
To sit in front of the computer screen
Searching for the words I just want to scream
Not even knowing the pain that I feel
How to describe what feels so unreal
I miss, just miss, everything that is you
Laughing for hours at things that you do
And how could it be that this is the end
What was to be a lifetime of new things to begin
But here I sit, at night alone
And the numbness inside is all that I know
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I can pretend to smile,even pretend to show
All those great emotions I already did let go
You took my heart with you when I made you
walk away
I guess I've been wrong,is it too late to say
I really do love you a lot,will you love me back
My life has no meaning,without you I seem to lack
Everything good that ever happened,there's nobody
else for me
Just let me love you again,then you will see
There's nothing good about me not coming home
to you
Please don't let me go,I was made just for you
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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Julie Stephenson Poem
I don't look around me, I don't even really see
All the people in my life who really might love me
Because I'm too busy thinking, or just rearranging
the things in my head
Dreaming of better things I want instead
Sometimes I forget what is really real
Always pretending there's something else that I feel
I really have to wonder if I'm even really happy
If I'm trying so hard to be
Sometimes lost in a world that is so hard to bear
Waiting, just waiting, for the something else out there
And wondering about the damage that I may have done
To the person it is that I love
I've just been so numb, so empty inside
Daydreaming life away, so I could hide
And I wish I could stop it, I wish I could let go
Of another life, and just love the one I know
Julie Stephenson
Copyright © Julie Stephenson | Year Posted 2005
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