(to the tune of “Love and Marriage”)
Zelle or Venmo, Zelle or Venmo
Modern methods to let all your cash flow.
I can tell you, honey -
This is how the young send money.
Zelle or Venmo, Zelle or Venmo
Where did former ways to send your dough go?
Ask an older person
And understanding this will worsen.
Try, try, try to then explain it;
It isn’t easy.
Try, try, try, but they’ll complain; it
Just makes them queasy.
Zelle or Venmo, Zelle or Venmo
Taking finance to a place they don’t know.
Youth may find it funny
When seniors try to still get by
With checks or Visa for their money.
Before I had a credit card,
My car, newly repaired,
Required cash to pick it up
And I was unprepared.
I borrowed money, then I got
A MasterCard - hooray!
It changed my means of payment,
Which I still do use today.
Along with checks and cash, that card
Could pay for all I’d need
And up until quite recently,
It seemed that way, indeed.
But then there was some money
That I wanted to convey
And a credit card or check
Just wouldn’t be a way to pay.
Then how ‘bout Zelle or Venmo?
Was the question I was asked.
Alas, I called my son and
For this favor, he was tasked.
It isn’t fair that things that worked
For years no longer do
And with this new technology,
I do not have a clue.
I’ve never heard a podcast,
Which reveals that I am old.
I don’t know how to stream one
(And don’t want to, truth be told).
I’ve never paid with Venmo
And the same applies to Zelle.
My credit cards and checks or cash
Have served me very well.
My doorbell has no camera
And my house has no alarm
And so far, lacking both,
I haven’t come to any harm.
If you stop by for some coffee,
You must wait until it perks
Since I’m happily old-fashioned,
For the tried and true still works.
She arrived on time to killed
With a king’s man and god’s women
In blue, the color best for a seized mole
a hat in head, tri-corner, she liked
warriors were still awaited there yet today
but not for Mata Hari's lustful moves or skins or carves
even she waves a kiss, blindfold
and bid to die
[Margaretha Geertruida "Margreet" Zelle MacLeod (7 August 1876 – 15 October 1917), better known by the stage name Mata Hari, was a member of the Frisian minority from the Netherlands, and was an exotic dancer and courtesan who was convicted of being a spy and executed by firing squad in France under charges of espionage for Germany during World War Wikipedia]