Golly gee. Eeks and yike
Pet and owner look alike
Having a perfect spa day
As the wrinkles fade away
Looking young again once more
Isn't such a horrid chore
With a mask upon the face
In a cozy comfy place
Relaxing with a snack or two
Nothing but the best for you
But carefully you must peel
Off the mask, or pain you'll feel
T hey’d aughta not called nookie
H eaven’s blessed cookie...
E ither burd or bee, cause neither's a lookie!
B urds well der feathered, not like me?
I n da interest of clarity, I’m certainly NO bee?
R obins do have red breasts and I have two, see?
D ern, maybe dat's why dey calls dem da burds and da bees?
S o, if da ladies da burd, da guy must be da bee?
A nyway, why didn’t dey call IT da cows and da doves?
N ow, cows at least got legs and doves are for luv!
D rat, I still don’t get da bee stingy thingie, "Gov?"
T he bees has a sting YIKE and bees sure love honey.
H ell, maybe they thought a man'd sting ya for money?
E ither dat or “Hmmm,” some ladies are real punny?
B et we women smell real sweet, I guess, and da bees fly to honey?
E eeeeeekkk, I so confuddled, I feel like Mikey Rooney?
E ach dern metaphors is making me more looney tooney!
S imply forget da dern foolishness and give me a groomie!
This is a true story, a legend in the family, as related by my favorite aunt and
uncle awhile back. It happened, I'm not smart enough to make something this
bizarre and humorous up....So, strap in,.....Here we go!...!!!...
"If you want,
to stay warm at night...
Just get an electric blanket,
They're "out of sight"!!
You can turn down,
The house's temp...
And still cuddle up warm,
In spite of the winter's
Cold hearted contempt...
But if you get one blanket,
With dual controls,
For husband and wife,
And even if, you have, a very long life,
Make sure you understand,
All the blanket's dial setting roles...
See, my aunt and my uncle,
On one cold winter's night...
Went to bed together,
And turned off the light...
They set their controls,
The way that they did like,
But trouble soon brewed,
They were fast approaching...
More than one "yike"!!!!!
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