Who the hell is Etty Ket
To keep interfering in my life?
I keep hearing its not Etty Ket
From my very soon to be wife.
I bet she was a Victorian
With a long pointy nose
Red flanellette bloomers
And long stripey hose.
One of those very worthies
Who, year after year
Just couldn't resist
That urge to interfere.
Oh the embarrassments
At odd times of my life,
Eating soup with the wrong spoon
Or fish with the wrong knife.
I've laughed when I shouldn't,
Wished that I was dead,
Stood there in horror
Face glowing scarlet red,
Having absently committed
Some perceived heinous crime,
Just an ignorant peasant
Trapped by the rules of
A more stiff and formal time.
Etty Ket thanks to you
I've gone through times of stress
But now I've reached an age
When I couldn't care any less.
So now I wear desert wellies
All the year round
And I wear odd socks
When a pair can’t be found,
Spill food down my pullie
And don’t give a damn
Take it or leave it
For I am what I am.
Life’s too short to worry
You’re dismissed out of hand,
Farewell Etty Kett, get back
To your Cloud Cuckoo Land.
When Merit Pay Would Save Money
By Elton Camp
Miss Grundy’s the best teacher at school
Yet paid no more than its biggest fool
If he has the same experience and degree
How that’s fair is nearly impossible to see
Her work’s interesting & academically sound
The failed coach is the biggest dunce around
He rambles about sports day after day
Really, all he’s doing is stealing his pay
Taxpayers must wait for him to expire
Or ride the system until he can retire
The state legislature merit pay won’t permit
It might cost more, they say and have a fit
Miss Grundy is joining a growing move
Politicians their worth for pay should prove
If, on merit, those worthies receive their pay
Millions of dollars would saved every day
A Golden Calf came through our old town for people to worship whether deft or daft.
If anyone impedes this Olympian flame in disporting procession coming from this flawed
home (like all ours) of demos kratos - Greece will save itself if it be true to 'people
power' that now has a spring in its not always athletic step, gamy leg they will be
game, a terrorist to to types of boot, receiving their (in) just desserts if they spoil (be
fair) many people's pleasure. It will be an arresting scene for we vin ordinaire to drink
in the sights of champagne wasting sporty types, Olympic worthies, 'celebrities',
politicos like bouncy Boris in his and their special Soviet fast lanes that no war or civil
hero just 'sporting' ones will ride in this four times over budget shindig that we
taxpayers of the world, mainly this faire isle will gladly pay for them to play knowing
that they shaft us every day yet cannot they take our souls from us whether we are
believers or no - each our very selves will truly show.
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