Etty Kett

Who the hell is Etty Ket To keep interfering in my life? I keep hearing its not Etty Ket From my very soon to be wife. I bet she was a Victorian With a long pointy nose Red flanellette bloomers And long stripey hose. One of those very worthies Who, year after year Just couldn't resist That urge to interfere. Oh the embarrassments At odd times of my life, Eating soup with the wrong spoon Or fish with the wrong knife. I've laughed when I shouldn't, Wished that I was dead, Stood there in horror Face glowing scarlet red, Having absently committed Some perceived heinous crime, Just an ignorant peasant Trapped by the rules of A more stiff and formal time. Etty Ket thanks to you I've gone through times of stress But now I've reached an age When I couldn't care any less. So now I wear desert wellies All the year round And I wear odd socks When a pair can’t be found, Spill food down my pullie And don’t give a damn Take it or leave it For I am what I am. Life’s too short to worry You’re dismissed out of hand, Farewell Etty Kett, get back To your Cloud Cuckoo Land.