Wifie Poems


A Glesga Setterday Nicht

“Gaun an bile yer heid” he bawled oot,
As he stood in the middle o the cobbled street.
Tae nae yin in particular.
Did he vent his anger.
Fu as a whaulk he staggered and swayed
Wan pin rooted tae the graun,
Ither yin moved like a dervish,
Gaun naewhaur fast.
He should of been hame
Wi his wifie and weans
But naw he insisted 
Wi a wee refreshment wi his pals.
Jist a hauf an a hauf an a wee blether
Pittin the world tae rights.
But man the craik was brill that nicht
Whit a pity it ended in a fecht.
Nothing though like the fecht
He wid huv when at home.
His wifie stood livid at the door
Tears a dripping ontae the floor
Weans moaning and bawling
Nae dinner again old mans supping fu.
Setterday nicht in Glasga toon
Lying sprawled an fu unner the moon,

©Andrew P McIntyre 2015-05-28.
Categories: wifie, anger, city, culture, funny,
Form: Light Verse

Premium MemberFree Gas

The salesman offered free gas for a year,

   If Gus would buy a brand new Buccaneer!

      Gus exclaimed, "Is this for real?"

         Wifie said, "Forget the deal!

            You are full of gas already, my dear!"

Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Categories: wifie, humorous,
Form: Limerick


Premium MemberIf I Were Born a Boy

Since I have always happy been
with my own very girly skin,
I doubt that I could ever be
a great model of masculinity.

In the mirror I haven’t had to face
hairs growing out all over the place
and whether to shave or not to shave,
a beard that simply won’t behave.

Instead of lolling in a bath,
I’d shower and cut the time by half.
I’d read the paper so not to bore me,
while wifie set hot food before me.

The kids, I’d settle with one word,
so not another peep is heard.
That is the way she should have taught them,
I’d say, as I slapped her on the bottom.

Then off I am to slay a dragon,
at my new job of grocery baggin’.
Since the factory closed, it has been tough.
Only at home can I strut my stuff.

But to myself I would admit
That my skin truly didn’t fit.
And then I’d go on a long bender
And wish that I could fix my gender..
Categories: wifie, funny, boy,
Form: Light Verse
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