Funny Wanted Poems

I always wanted to be cheese the blowtorch said.
The opossum thought this funny but had to play dead.
There was a brick of cheese wrapped in...

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There once was a teen named Ash
Who wanted to have a bash

He could almost buy
A bottle of rye

But he just shaved his moustache!...

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The things I've wanted to be
Is a list running to eternity.
Once an administrator,
The head command orchestrator.
Perhaps an artistic brush
To paint life with colors fresh.
Or a...

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We always wanted a wife, my husband and I.
He wanted one he could order about.
Laugh. Snort. Snarl. Growl….
I wanted one to do the dishes.
 
We...

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Help wanted.   See the details below.

I’m lookin’ for a part-time assistant, and a life skills mentor, 
A Quick Books accountant, and an exercise...

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The winter weather was bad, snowed heavily that year,
Santa was late dressing up and putting on the head gear.

He needed then to hurry up to...

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I wanted to write a poem about hate…
as a way to understand it
but the more I tried…the more this poem…
didn’t go the way I planned...

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In my childhood I wanted to be a Viking or a Vandal.
Alas, my friends! My dreams was not fulfil.
And now, watching the Hollywood's sex scandal,...

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I wanted to take anti-depressant
By mistake I took anti-perspirant. 
Sadly, I'm not  in a cheerful mood,
But, I'm smelling pretty good!...

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I went and placed a wanted ad
Inside my local discount rag
Hoping someone somewhere might have
Some new words they could send my way

I've started feeling slightly...

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Looking under a leaf
In search of a caterpillar thief
Pinched a tomatoes cheek
Oh what a creepy creep

He's a very deliberate critter
She cried that hairy worm bit...

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Beneath her window all week long
He’d serenade love with a song
Yet no one dare brave
To tell her young slave
The address she gave him was wrong...

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WANTED:
Mongoose!

I need to borrow a mongoose!
I'm tired of this snake in my house!
And turn that little rascal loose
On every lizzard, snake, and mouse!

No--wait! Not the...

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I thought to give his description
and tell why I want him alive.
He often causes adventure,
my life took a certain nosedive.

Standing, he’s five to six inches,
a...

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I can not get to sleep,
I have counted many sheep,
I've tossed and turned,
I have been moon-burned,
But still I can not get to sleep,
I've thought of...

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