Millay Has Her Way with a Vassar Professor
by Michael R. Burch
After a night of hard drinking and spreading her legs,
Millay hits the dorm, where the Vassar don begs:
“Please act more chastely, more discretely, more seemly!”
(His name, let’s assume, was, er . . . Percival Queemly.)
“Expel me! Expel me!”?She flashes her eyes.
“Oh! Please! No! I couldn’t! That wouldn’t be wise,
for a great banished Shelley would tarnish my name . . .
Eek! My game will be lame if I can’t milque your fame!”
“Continue to live here?carouse as you please!”
the beleaguered don sighs as he sags to his knees.
Millay grinds her crotch half an inch from his nose:
“I can live in your hellhole, strange man, I suppose ...
but the price is your firstborn, whom I’ll sacrifice to Moloch.”
(Which explains what became of pale Percy’s son, Enoch.)
Categories:
vassar, class, muse, poetess, poetry,
Form: Sonnet
A handsome man, a valiant son,
John Kennedy was he.
A man who rose to President
with civil rights the key.
Who can forget the many days
like Camelot they seemed,
when all eyes were on Washington,
they passed just like a dream.
Ah, we remember Jacqueline
a Vassar deb was she,
who walked with grace on his right side
through fame and infamy.
One thousand days was all we had
of this great President
before a gunshot took his life
for all the world to see.
We mourn him still, we miss his smile
his knowledge and his grit
for he and Martin dreamed a dream,
we reaped the best of it.
Categories:
vassar, history,
Form: Quatrain
Democracy now that is a laugh
When the voting is all stacked with graft
And I will give you a plug
If you punch out that lug
If you believe me you’re really daft!
You say you’re poor and you’re not real able
To put food and some bucks on the table
Just right say the rich
Starve and don’t *itch
Or drop by and muck out my stable!
Grad’s from Vassar and Yale all abhor
Those in Appalachia with dirt floors
But they own the coal mines
And their wealth is refined
They won’t mess up their minds keeping score.
You can’t get a real education
In this righteous American nation
Well go read a book
Or go shoot a crook
Rise to your appropriate station!
Categories:
vassar, education, introspection, life, people,
Form: Limerick
The other fun things I love having include:Heart Failure, skin infections, painful
umbilical hernia,heat stroke, gastritous, anemia, anxiety, high blood pressure,
dental pain unreal!, chronic nausea...and a few others to boot...I have been in
every hospital on Long Island, all the ambulance crews and cops know me, I am
now repeating that accomplishment here, with Vassar, Saint Francis having me
for many multiple visits....I have "shrinks", nurses, counselors here every week,
as well as case managers, etc. I have spent days at social security and other
places, with cat scans, dog scans, x-rays, Y-rays, Purple haze, Billy Mays,
scanned with an etch-a -sketch, soon I'll fetch...mammograms, head scans (they
found nothing), sun tans, marching bands, clapping hands, taxi stands, proded
glands, IQ plans, no-man lands, soda cans, clinic lands, and much more, what
ever they can...z. My meds come next, but such a long list, I need a rest....so take
a break, I've yet to begin to jest...
Categories:
vassar, adventure, funny, health, natural
Form: Bio