Funny Urban Poems

Surviving with little money
Life really isn’t funny
Raining even when it’s sunny

Don’t wanna run this rat race
No chance of keeping up pace
Falling on my flat face

But...

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Tonight 

I rediscovered 

Boulevard of Broken 

Dreams on a jaunt through 

Glasgow’s October-lit streets. Rain 

drippin’ off chin. Momentarily wishing 

I was more like I...

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I rush every morning holding my coffee .
I board the bus , checking my phone 
I want no problems .
As mind prepares for hectic hours...

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Lately I have been feeling so happy and so rappy.
But whenever I get snappy, I go for a nappy.
Just never make me feel so unhappy...

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I will stop reminiscing over the 1700s when the 2000s stop mirroring the same values
plantations upgraded to prisons, chains to handcuff, masters to head leaders...

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Afternoon autumn
Our neighborhood goes crazy
Like living in a dentist’s office

Drilling sucking blowing
Whining wincing scraping

Gurgle

My head tilted back
With a book on my chest
Mouth wide open
Staring into...

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I got my mind on my money and money on my mind/
Cat scan if you like you'll tell I ain't lying/
Verse One
Money is all I...

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How would someone write an “urban” sonnet, 
When the formation of the poem is lame. 
Some poets will stray away from old bonnets, 
And some...

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Everything the sun touches Is his domain.
The broken pickup trucks, 
Trailers to broken to be habitable,
Beer cans that rustles in the wind, like tumbleweeds in...

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You look stupid in videos on phones at the start,
you don't look like "Badmans" calling women a tart,
when I see those skits I think what...

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Douglas Dempster the Dumpster King
Hates to be called Doug Dumpster
But he's to blame if that's his name
Denying it is a real stumper.

Mashes the trash, burns...

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Years ago I wrote a jingle for a real store.
They didn't know I did, but I did.




The soda pop shop
The soda pop shop
Be sure to...

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Beware there man when out for your drink
Your wondering eye the one that don't think
Basking in glory man of the hour
Spotting one there pretty hair...

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A rather young couple have
Moved in together
In the two up, two down
Across the street.
Not for them conventionality
Or conformity:
No wedding band offends
Her third finger, left hand
Nor,...

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How long will I wait Mr. Waiter?
You only brought me water,
yet I requested for ox-tail soup,
and a bowl of carrots and a tulip.
Mr. Waiter, you...

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