I dread the nights -
long hours alone
pass slowly.
I wrestle sleep
in fear of dreams
darker than my loss.
I forget the day, the month,
even the year you left
without warning,
but oh how in the darkness
I remember too well
the moment -
down to the second -
of my silent screams,
Twisted thoughts,
face contorted
in pain like no other
pain I had ever felt
while holding
what once was you.
In light of day
I turn to stone.
Then, night comes,
a ghost haunting me,
too weighted with evil to rise.
Behind closed lids I am
the torero impaled
by Satan's horns
searching for God
in the final breath.
Again, screams cannot escape
from my choking lungs.
My heart breaks like shattered glass -
the shards racing -
tearing through my veins.
Red-eyed and weary,
I wait for a hollow sun
to harden my heart again.
I would rather be numb
than suffer through tortures
of night.
Categories:
torero, bereavement,
Form: Free verse
Limerick : Once a Toro loved by a Matador
Once a Toro* loved by a Matador*
Maimed between shoulders by Picador*
Matador garrocha*
Picador muchacha*
Picador cornudo* Matador.
*Toro : bull raised for fighting in arenas (rings)
*Matador : « matador de toros », bullfighter ; usually
the head « torero », title obtained after the
« alternativa », ceremony honoring the torero
or « novillero », the apprentice bullfighter
*Picador : the well-protected assistant to the matador
on horseback who wounds the toro between
the shoulders in order to cause the bull to hang
its head
*garrocha/garrochar : (to use) the long lance with a metallic
harpoon-like head , wielded by the Picador
*muchacha : Spanish for girl or « daughter » as in this case
*cornudo : cuckolded (husband gored)
© T. Wignesan – Paris, 2013
Categories:
torero, humorous,
Form: Limerick