Rhonda Johnson-Saunders Poet Free verse

Shackled In the Dark

I dread the nights -
long hours alone
pass slowly.
I wrestle sleep
in fear of dreams
darker than my loss.
I forget the day, the month,
even the year you left
without  warning,
but oh how in the darkness
I remember too well
the moment -
down to the second -
of my silent screams, 
Twisted thoughts, 
face contorted
in pain like no other
pain I had ever felt
while holding 
what once was you.
In light of day
I turn to stone.
Then, night comes,
a ghost haunting me,
too weighted with evil to rise.
Behind closed lids I am
the torero impaled
by Satan's horns
searching for God
in the final breath.
Again, screams cannot escape
from my choking lungs.
My heart breaks like shattered glass -
the shards racing -
tearing through my veins.
Red-eyed and weary, 
I wait for a hollow sun
to harden my heart again.
I would rather be numb
than suffer through tortures
of night.

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Peter Lewis Holmes February 16, 2015 at 2:16 AM "my silent screams"..reminds me of when I thought my divorce would mean me losing my children....thank you for your terror Rhonda.....Peter.

Peter Lewis Holmes February 4, 2015 at 5:42 PM "I wait for a hollow sun".... beautiful,great poetry Rhonda

Skat A February 1, 2015 at 1:38 PM Nice win, Hugs* SKAT

Poet Destroyer A February 1, 2015 at 12:57 PM Hello Rhonda, Congratulations on your win. Awesome theme "Gods and Devil." Enjoy your day. Linda

Kayod5 Kayode January 23, 2015 at 9:46 PM This stands out ,congrats on the win Rhonda...huggs

Jan Allison January 23, 2015 at 1:43 PM Such a moving heartbreaking write Rhonda I was moved to tears - it should have placed much higher in my opinion :-) Hugs Jan xx

Teddy Kimathi January 22, 2015 at 10:50 PM A very wonderful piece Rhonda! Congrats to your win in this contest! ^_^

Maurice Yvonne January 22, 2015 at 10:23 AM This is an amazing write. I try to shield myself from even thinking of important loss. I'm not sure I could survive it. You placed yourself in this fictitious write convincingly. Your pen is precious and knows no limits. You never dissapoint!

Rajat Kanti Chakrabarty January 22, 2015 at 7:33 AM Hi Rhonda! Congrats! Love>>>rajat

Andrea Dietrich January 21, 2015 at 2:06 PM rhonda, I don't know if you were writing fiction or not, but you really gave a strong impression of the feelings associated with grief. It could be a child or a spouse. For me that was how I imagined this one. Great writing!

Bill Yates January 21, 2015 at 1:37 PM Kudos to you, Rhonda. Here is a song that seems relevant and that you might enjoy: https://www.youtube.com/watch?v=QgBff_8pJoQ

Isaiah Zerbst January 21, 2015 at 11:26 AM My, my. I rarely read poetry this sad. It does justice to how I imagine I would feel in the sace circumstances, which I always admire. You know, some poems convey emotion and others do not.

Constance La France January 21, 2015 at 11:22 AM Rhonda, Oh my gosh, your poem is so full of pain, I need to wipe away a tear, I know this feeling that you so powerfully put into words, you captured the pain of losing a loved one, the skill of a true writer, they say time heals but that is not really true , I find him down a winding road, his name engraved for eternity~~ and thanks for visiting my poetry, I appreciate that so much ~~

Liam Mcdaid January 21, 2015 at 10:20 AM deeply touching piece excellent pen flowed golden in this piece bless you

Sara Kendrick January 20, 2015 at 5:43 AM Very expressive work..The emotion grabs and leads the reader through the work..Thanks for dropping by..I will be 70 this year but still have a few months of 69..A big change when one hits the big 0..Sara

David Meade January 19, 2015 at 5:08 PM Awesome poem and totally unexpected . . . I see your name and I think light and love, this was deep, dark, powerful, cutting to the bone! A journey that only the strong can endure and even than not alone. If you have completed this journey, you now the power of love and light to transform the night. Anyone who has felt this painful darkness will know the agony you write about . . . I do! May light and love always shine in our darkest nights. 7 Rhonda Johnson-Saunders January 19, 2015 at 10:07 PM Thanks, David. I suppose I have a dark side, too. Light cannot exist without darkness...so is life. This isn't written from personal experience, and I hate to think of the day I experience this kind of grief. I can only imagine it would feel like this for a time. I thank God for his love, knowing there is hope when we suffer. You are a testament to that hope! Love and Blessings, Rhonda

Debbie Guzzi January 19, 2015 at 10:16 AM Loss can so be like this. Replace the dark with something pleasant, try Sleep Soundly by Steven Halpren. Did you mean toreador? Light & Love Rhonda Johnson-Saunders January 19, 2015 at 9:27 PM This poem is not written from personal experience. I worked with the elderly for a long time and saw how the death of a spouse would cause such grief that the other would die shortly after. I can ony imagine how that would feel after spending so many years together. Thanks for the supportive comments Light and love to you, Rhonda Rhonda Johnson-Saunders January 19, 2015 at 9:23 PM Hi Deb, After reading your comment, I went back to check the word torero. It means the same as toreador. I was going to use the word matador, but I like the sound of torero better. (continued)

Connie Marcum Wong January 19, 2015 at 12:05 AM Dear Rhonda, Heart wrenching pain is felt with your words, unfortunately I too have experienced. But, there is light that can brighten any darkness, and it is love. You have written a poem many will be able to identify with which may help some to move on into the light. #7 Blessings, Connie Connie Marcum Wong January 20, 2015 at 2:37 PM I just lost my nephew who was only 41. He had cancer. Much too young to die. Thank you...Connie Rhonda Johnson-Saunders January 19, 2015 at 9:53 PM Hi Connie. This is not written from personal experience, but I've watched others suffer from terrible grief, and I imagine the nights are the loneliest. I'm sorry for your loss. I'm sure the pain never goes away completely even after you move on. I agree, love is the light at the end of the dark tunnel...love and blessings to you, Rhonda

James Ranahan January 18, 2015 at 10:59 PM "I dread the nights-long hours alone...." echoes in my mind then freezes me. your poem is an experience. Jim