She opened her gifts on Christmas morn
Beneath the paper, a gift she’d scorn
Lacey Panties unflawed
She thought, "what a tightwad!"
Panties in a wad since they’d been worn!
A Funny Christmas or December Holiday Limerick Poetry Contest
Sponsored by: Tania Kitchin
November 27, 2022
Categories:
tightwad, christmas, december, funny, hilarious,
Form: Limerick
TIGHTWAD TIMMY
Tightwad Timmy bought some very cheap meat
With fresh vege t'would be a nice tasty treat
But something was wrong
There was a strange pong
And maggots were dropping off by his feet...
FINGERLESS FRED
Fred lost his finger in a meat grinder
Offered a huge reward for the finder
But short sighted Sue
Used it in her stew
And felt poking and prodding inside her...
Written 14th January 2022.
Categories:
tightwad, humor,
Form: Limerick
husband’s cheap gift wife’s
expression priceless wife drags
tightwad mate to court
Created and posted : 23 November 2020
Contest : Make Me Laugh With Some Humour
Sponsor : Tania Kitchin
NB A little humour never goes amiss.
Some men and women are so mean they should be sued is the moral.
I’ve a sneaking suspicion that this case is pointless!
Categories:
tightwad, betrayal, divorce, family, fun,
Form: Haiku
I Am
Me-Created by God
Woman–I give freely, I am not a tightwad.
Wife–But not to Todd.
Mother–I do not believe in sparing the rod.
Poet–I love to write even if it is about a fly rod.
Comedian–Give me a nod.
Reader-My reading is not about sod.
Dreamer–About the beach and catching a cod.
Leader–We are off like a flying squad.
Artist-Creative and odd.
Crafter–Making things that are mod.
Lover–Do not call the vice squad.
Traveler-Alone home or abroad.
Speaker-I love when they applaud.
A Rhyming Bio
Date Written: 5/2/2020
2 Place I AM: A LIST BIO CHALLENGE Contest Judged:5/25/2020
Sponsored by: Andrea Dietrich
Categories:
tightwad, dream, me, mom, poetry,
Form: List
He is...
She is....
I am....
We are....
News travels fast.
Especialy when it is self-revealing or telling
More especially if it is juicy or gloomy
He is a tightwad.
She is having an affair.
I am telling you in confidence.
Confidences travel faster than the IS.
Faster than the THEY.
Faster than the WE.
Weirdly enough.
Categories:
tightwad, hello,
Form: Free verse
There was a sailor in a bar downtown
Who had a need to be playing around
A tightwad was he
And frisky was she
He gave her a round - she blew the man down
August 2, 2018
Sea Tales Limirick Contest
By Carolyn Devonshire
Fifth Place
Categories:
tightwad, funny, lust, sea, song,
Form: Limerick
Sinister Tight Wad In Westminster
Someone sat that he became sinister,
When called tight wade in Westminster;
Where he did go,
Was called a weirdo;
In plate he had placed his pet hamster.
Jim Horn
Categories:
tightwad, allegory, analogy,
Form: Limerick
Three months ago a man went to be with God.
He lost his life savings because he was a tightwad.
He saved over a quarter of a million dollars and spent little of it.
Now his relatives are spending it and they sure do love it.
He pinched pennies right up to the end.
It was a waste because it was money he wouldn't spend.
He saved all of that money during a four and a half decade career.
He bought very few possessions and drove the same car for twenty years.
He never allowed himself the privilege of enjoying his money.
Now other people have it and it isn't at all funny.
When he was on his deathbed, he saw his error and began to regret it.
If you're just as stingy with your money, other people will eventually get it.
Categories:
tightwad, death, money,
Form: Rhyme
The other day I saw the most pathetic thing I think I shall ever see!
It was so macabre and shocking that it piqued my curiosity!
Seems this old miser died having atoned for his many transgressions,
But was adamant about taking with him all his earthly possessions!
He had derided that well-known saw, "you can't take it with you",
And asserted, "Them's my things that took a lifetime to accrue!"
Even on his deathbed as he breathed his last and ceased to function,
He fretted about his stuff as the priest administered extreme unction!
In the funeral procession behind the hearse was a huge U-Haul truck,
Containing his suits and shoes, booze and gold plus all his other ruck!
Oft' I've pondered about that old tightwad and his ultimate fate,
And how St Peter handled the matter when he greeted him at the Gate!
Robert L. Hinshaw, CMSgt, USAF, Retired
(c) All Rights Reserved
Categories:
tightwad, death, humorous,
Form: Couplet