Whodathunkit
Jebediah Suggs
watched the gopher tortoise hide –
his veggies at risk
“Y’all listen up, dang fool tortoise
If’n yer expectin’ a meal
Ya gotta ‘nother thin’ comin’
“I been a plantin’ and a waterin’
Watchin’ my garden grow
Till y’all pop out ‘n’ steal a spinach leaf
Ta take it with ya below
“Dadgum hole makes it hard ta catch ya
So I’s been standin’ watchin’ behind
Yer in fer a new home
Some spot with no veggies I’ll find”
Ole Jeb, he nabbed his prey
‘N’ the offender looked had fear in ‘is eyes
Turtle soup was what that gopher be thinkin’
But he was just goin’ fer a ride, much to his surprise
Me, I yeehawed when Jebediah
Snatched the tortoise and drove off on a relocation junket
‘Twas then I realized I’d become a redneck too
So tell me, whodathunkit?
*Entry for the “Something New” contest
(based on a true experience)
Baggy Trousers and eating dirt
skanking to music for your money's worth
Blue skinned beast in our house
Prince Buster is the man, not a mouse
Orange street too hot for this town
rudies in the pool hall dancing to this nutty sound
Welcome to the House of Fun
now that you're listenin' the song has begun
Push on down the River Nile
stop and listen for awhile
Must be love I hear them saying
Suggs can never stop playing
Two-tone suits
Doc Martin boots
Fat Footin' all the way
with this sound ain't gonna be a gray day
Ska so good must be love
flying so high on the wings of a dove