Standup Comedian Poems | Examples


Premium Member A Lone Ranger Mask


I'm feeling rather silly today
Not that that's so unusual
But I'm feeling even more silly than usual
Read on and methinks
You'll understand exactly what I mean
Have thoughts of what it would be like
To be a ravishing female
Rather than this hunk of male virility
That I am now
Of course I would be an absolute stunner
With a body to die for
Must stop... I'm getting all squirmy
How about if I became the ruler
Of a large African country and signed into law
That sex is officially permitted
In public places as long as you're wearing
A Lone Ranger mask
Oops! Methinks I may be stepping over the line
Alright, how about becoming a
Standup comedian with my own late night show
Now that's more up my alley
Good thing Leno and Letterman
Decided to call it quits
Guess they knew I was about to take over!
Perhaps I should go lie down a spell

Most Illusive

Most Illusive

Can thin spaces be created by a Priest
Closer to God and distance not increased
And about some things I must be blunt
Still trying to decide what I need and want.

What if for while longer I have to wait
For standup comedian to be a candidate
Which I really on occasion often heard
In Republicans existing in every word.

Listen very closely and are liable to hear
Their thinking reality is no where near
Are even starting a show of their own
And is called, "How to gripe and moan."

Hilary often has been beyond compare
Until there was the Benghazi affair
On computer had been webmaster 
Republicans turned into a disaster.

On and on and on could go and go
After a while you will eventually know
Much credit Republican  s we must give
About any subject are the most illusive.

Guess what? My back is all worn out
from patting it so much so I did decide
to write this poem. Can you blame me?

James Thomas Horn
Retired Veteran and Poet
RiverSea Plantation
Bolivia, NC

Premium Member A Lone Ranger Mask

I'm feeling rather silly today

Not that that's so unusual

But I'm feeling even more silly than usual

Read on and methinks

You'll understand exactly what I mean

Have thoughts of what it would be like

To be a ravishing female

Rather than this hunk of male virility

That I am now

Of course I would be an absolute stunner

With a body to die for

Must stop... I'm getting all squirmy

How about if I became the ruler

Of a large African country and signed into law

That sex is officially permitted

In public places as long as you're wearing

A Lone Ranger mask

Oops! Methinks I may be stepping over the line

Alright, how about becoming a

Standup comedian with my own late night show

Now that's more up my alley

Good thing Leno and Letterman

Decided to call it quits

Guess they knew I was about to take over!

Perhaps I should go lie down a spell


© Jack Ellison 2014


Premium Member A Bit of a Ham

The time has come to bare my soul
It's certainly long overdue
The greatest passion in my life has been
To get laughs and more than a few

A standup comedian I'd sure like to be
If I had to do it over again
Performing on stage in front of a throng
Earning great fortune and fame

Something inside's been trying to get out
This unfulfilled passion of mine
A bit of a ham, feel obliged to admit
Applause is totally sublime

To be realistic I've missed the boat
Circumstances forbade me my dream
A family came along for which to provide
But I never lost my passion it seems

Imagine a seventy-eight year old comedian
Doing standup on a New York stage
Not likely but I know I'd still be able to wow 'em
The thing that's against me is age


© Jack Ellison 2013

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